Hachi Hachi Paradise
by lyzen719
Summary: Now a third-year college student with his high school days behind him, Hachiman visits home while on break as per usual. Upon his return, however, old faces suddenly start reappearing and making his life way more complicated than he could have ever expected. Meanwhile, he seems to be hiding something that could change the fabric of every relationship he has.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey everyone, welcome to Chapter 1 of Hachi Hachi Paradise. This story will be told from Hachiman's point of view, and will follow him on his endeavors involving the many interesting characters in his life. The tags and the synopsis should tell you the rest.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Oregairu, which is probably for the best. I definitely wouldn't have been able to do the series justice, and I'd be pretty worried about ruining such a great series. Luckily this is a fanfiction so if I do something silly it doesn't affect anything. Shoutouts to Wataru Watari and the publishers of the series.**

Chapter 1: Even to this day, Hikigaya Hachiman is still answering requests.

1-1

I feel sweat start to dampen my forehead. In my line of sight I see a beautiful girl wryly smiling as she fiddles with her peach-colored bun of hair. Next to her I steal a glance at another beautiful girl, frozen stock still in a way befitting her porcelain-like appearance. Under their heated stares, in that clubroom, and with the scent of red tea drifting through the air, I force my body to stay still and as I wrench my jaw unclamp, I feel a thump and a pounding against my eardrum.

Ow…

9:00 am. Why the hell is my alarm even set? And why the heck is it set to max volume? Is there really something that I absolutely needed to wake up for? It's not like I have anywhere I need to be. Although, it's not going to be like that for much longer. And that's precisely why I should be taking advantage of this type of situation by doing what I do best. Taking it easy and being taken care of by my adorable little sister. Actually, speaking of which…

"Oh Onii-chan good, you're awake."

As I silenced my obnoxiously loud alarm, I sat up while looking at my sister with my best irritated expression.

"Komachi, you didn't sneak into my room after I fell asleep and set my alarm, did you?"

"That's exactly what I did, actually!" squealed Komachi with a wink as she flashed a peace sign.

Because it's so hard to be mad at her since she's too cute, I quickly lost my will to scold her. Still, I as her older brother need to hold her accountable for her actions somehow. I sighed and brought my hands up to rub my eyes awake.

"...Why?"

"Well Otou-san and Okaa-san are at work, and I'm going to be spending the day catching up with a friend, so I figured I'd make you breakfast before I left. Otherwise you'd make some sort of unsuitable slop for yourself. Not good for the most important meal of the day, especially for a still, probably, growing young man such as yourself!"

What was with that probably? I mean yeah, technically I'm at an age where I can theoretically still grow and change, but it's largely unforeseeable. Regardless, it would seem that my sister still thinks I'm hopeless.

"As nice as that is, I could've made breakfast myself...and I wouldn't have had to wake up at 9 for that…"

While I gave Komachi my best annoyed expression, she made a sheepish grin and began lightly rubbing the back of her head.

"Well you see, I figured it was the least I could do since I need you to do me a favor-"

"And there it is."

That's just Sibling 101 stuff right there. Heck, even with people who aren't your siblings, the phrase "it's the least I could do" is often a death sentence of expectations and obligations. Source: Me.

"Oh hush. You know as well as I do that the only way to get anything out of you is to force it on you in the moment so you have no choice but to accept it. Otherwise you'll immediately decline and say that you're busy with something when it couldn't be farther from the truth."

Huh? When did you get a Grade A Hikki certification? You knew me that well, even after all this time apart? I get that we're siblings and all, but still. That's a bit much, Komachi-chan. Seriously. I don't know whether to cry because I'm touched, or cry because even now I'm being forced to do stuff against my will.

I let out a defeated sigh.

"Alright...what do you need?"

It's as I thought, the Imouto vs. Onii-chan matchup is 100-0 in the Imouto's favor. 100-0! No upsets!

"I need you to pick up some appliances that are going on sale today. I don't want to disturb my friend with it since I'm sure they have better things to do than go shopping with me, but I also don't want to postpone it until tomorrow in case the best ones are taken on the first day of the sale. See the conundrum?"

"Sounds like every housewife's nightmare."

"Or every househusband's. If anything you should be thanking me for giving you this wonderful practice opportunity. Heck while you're there you might run into your future working wife to complete the whole househusband equation."

I haven't seen my sister as much ever since heading off to college outside of the immediate commuting area (an unfortunate but necessary decision I had to lament and live with every day by the way, but I digress), and as a result I'm not too sure how her impression of me has evolved without the same factors being in place. Nowadays I really can't tell if she's humoring me, teasing me, or something else entirely. Oi Komachi-chan, what happened during your second and third year of high school without me around? Is there something I'm missing here? Regardless, I guess I have a little bit of explaining to do.

"...Look, Komachi. I'm not looking for someone to take care of me anymore. I-"

"Why?"

Komachi's face suddenly dropped and her voice grew serious, something that I'm now noticing has become more frequent over the past couple of years. She moves to sit on my bed alongside me and peers into my face. If she wasn't my sister my heart would skip a beat. Luckily I've gotten better at dodging her when she gets like this as a result. Gosh, when did my sister get so nosy?

"What?"

"If you're willing to work now, and-"

"It's not like I'm willing to work, I just am-"

"Or if you think you have no other option but to work, or whatever it may be. The point is that you're apparently not looking for something so one-sided anymore. If you're going to do your part, someone out there is going to want to be a part of that. What good reason is there for you to ignore that?"

Admittedly, there have been a number of things that must have happened to her that I'm not aware of in the past couple of years, but that's a street that runs two ways. I've certainly not told my sister everything that I've been doing in university. A lot of it would be things that don't interest her I'm sure, however, there are indeed a handful of things she'd never stop hounding me about if I ever let her even get a whiff of it.

Unfortunately for my adorable little sister, I am quite the troublesome guy. It never comes easy with me, and the things that come easy to normies don't quite apply to a loner such as myself. What happens outside of a loner's mantra is the exception, never the rule. As detestable as it is, I've learned that any given situation couldn't be farther from one's control. My experiences have come as a result of that, and nothing more.

With my convictions rehardened, I turned my dead eyes onto Komachi and answered.

"What reason? Well, there might not be a single good reason, but my reasons are my own. Isn't that enough?"

As happy as I am to spend whatever time I can with my sister, this sort of probing isn't something that I'm very keen on continuing. Although truthfully, if she heard the whole story maybe it could finally confirm to me what I've been thinking all along. It's a question I've visited and revisited often. What good reasons do I have? What compels me to act in this way? And for whose sake do I act for?

It was a question Yukinoshita Yukino once asked herself, and it was the only question Yukinoshita Yukino could not answer. Down the line I found myself asking the same question, but when I came to my own answer I knew I was wrong. Yuigahama Yui had the answer from the start, but she couldn't be right when the rest of us were wrong.

So I decided to live with being wrong until I could correct it myself. I act for my own sake, and I act to find the genuine thing that will elude me everytime. But I will find it, and I will find it for myself and without being a burden to others. This is what I've determined as a loner.

Komachi seemed to be displeased with my answer. She lightly scowled and after a small sigh, began to lecture me in a strangely nostalgic tone.

"There are people out there that love you too much to let you be on your own, Onii-chan. Especially when it's so clear that that isn't what makes you truly happy. The sooner you can realize that, the better."

"I've been on my own all my life. Hell if anything it's so normal to be single at this age that it almost doesn't suit me. If Hiratsuka-sensei traumatized you in some way, please forget it. I won't become like that, I promise."

My response came out without any thought as if it was predetermined. Hiratsuka-sensei's name flew off my tongue so casually that I felt myself become visibly taken aback. Ah, I thought so. For her name to come up here, in this situation, with those words…

As I was about to lose myself in my thoughts, Komachi clicked her tongue and brought me back.

"...Ugh, that's not what I mean."

Komachi turned back from where she was standing, seemingly unaware of my reaction, and began to head for the door. Before she got there, she turned back to me halfway and slightly muttered her words.

"If you still don't understand then that's fine. I thought I'd need to make you understand one way or the other anyways. It's not on me to be the one waiting forever though…"

She let out a frustrated groan and continued talking as she opened the slightly closed door to let her body through, out of my room and into the hallway. But just then, she paused.

"For now, just eat your breakfast before it gets cold. Before I forget, the list of what I'm looking for is on the table in the dining room right next to your plate. I'm not trying to cheat you here either. I went the extra mile in making you a good home cooked meal since I know you don't get those very often anymore, so make sure to do your part also. See you later, Onii-chan!"

Before I could regather my thoughts and respond, Komachi was up and out the door, leaving me with an eerie hunch as to what she meant. I can never be too sure with her, but hopefully she doesn't cause too much trouble. Well, not like there's anything I can do it about it right now anyways.

I took a deep breath as I rose from my bed and moved to use the restroom before eating the breakfast that Komachi prepared for me. As I did I couldn't help but notice how strange that conversation was. I mean sheesh, that conversation really turned itself on its head, and fast. I don't live that far away from home for the moment, so it isn't unheard of for me to come home when I can. Sure it'd be impossible for us to talk as much with how busy we've become and how I'm no longer regularly under the same roof, but where was all this coming from?

Wherever it was coming from, she sure was hitting me with some profound sentiments. I guess my idiot little sister really is growing up, she's in college now after all. Part of that makes me regret my decision to not attend a local college. As a result of that decision, I seem to have missed a big part of her development. But putting those regrets aside, I can't shake the feeling that I didn't really understand the full extent of whatever it is she was trying to tell me, and that hit me with a strong sense of déjà vu.

And I know full well why that's the case. The way Komachi spoke so thoughtfully, so mysteriously, so passionately, and even in her words themselves...it really did remind me of Hiratsuka-sensei. Try as I might, she always seems to crawl her way back into my thoughts. Even if I deliberately try to avoid having that happen...I even almost slipped up in front of Komachi too. And for it to happen now, especially at this time of year...

I suppose I knew this was coming. After all, I've always been the kind of guy that thinks too much. Or so I'm told, anyways. And between those thoughts and whatever dwellings remain of that dream from earlier, I already have had just about enough of thinking for today. But then I suppose there really are some things in this world that'll just stay on you like a bad itch.

With thoughts of my former self swirling in my head I couldn't help but wonder if things would be different if I were to try it all again. But with those thoughts of my former self came the convictions of that incarnation, which brought in the answer to this question that I had posed long ago, and that is…

That not a damn thing would change.

I took one more deep breath as I found myself out of my room and in front of the door to the restroom. For now I have an errand to run. Oh well, maybe it'll beat lazing around here. Let's see here...I've got plenty of time before Komachi gets back and not a whole lot of stuff to do besides an errand that shouldn't take long and figuring out what to do for lunch, hmm…

I moved to turn the knob while a solution popped into my head. Ah. Of course. At a time like this, I know just the thing to help remedy my troubles.

 **A/N: Alright people, that's Chapter 1 for you. It's more or less just a small prologue, chapters from here on out will likely be a bit longer. Not too sure how long updates will take, once we get into the swing of things I'm sure it'll be easier to gauge. With that being said, everyone's favorite imouto sure has grown, huh? Next time we'll see where our leading man is headed, as well as what's there waiting for him. R & R if you wish, otherwise until next time,**

 **-Lyzen**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Alright, we're back for Chapter 2 of HHP. Last time was just a prologue, while this time Hachiman is out and about on the errand that Komachi sent him on. Admittedly, this update took a bit longer than I had hoped, but I won't bore you with reasons. Let's get right into it.**

Chapter 2: Without fail, Hikigaya Hachiman seeks the impossible.

2-1

It's a strange, bittersweet feeling. As I walk down these streets, I can't help but be brought back to my days as a student here. I'm really not quite sure how I should be interpreting this feeling either. On one hand, there were a number of things that happened that I would rather not have had to deal with. And yet on the other hand, I also can't say that those were moments where I was truly unhappy. I met Totsuka while I was a student here, so there's that. In a sense, that definitely has to make everything else worth it. Ah Totsuka, you truly are the wind beneath my wings...[1]

Well, while I can't deny that sentiment in full, it's also not entirely true. Nowadays there are a couple more things that keep me going, after all I'm on the fast track to corporate slavehood and my only contact with Totsuka is the occasional text for "keeping up", whatever that means.

Really though, what kind of obligation is that? In fact, if it wasn't for the mysterious social obligation known as "keeping up," I wouldn't be out here in the first place, seeing as how I'm only out here thanks to Komachi and whoever it is that she's meeting. And knowing what kind of person my sister is, I wouldn't be surprised if this sort of thing happens weekly. _What's up with that? Isn't that like, just a giant hassle?_

Really now, I'll never understand why it is that loners are always the ones that are seen as pitiful. If you ask me, there's nothing more pitiful than being dragged around doing something you don't want to do for such a cheap reason. Then again, here I am out here fulfilling my obligation as an older brother to do something for my sister's sake, so that she can maintain the friendships she worked so hard to achieve in high school. _What's up with that? Aren't I, like, some kind of amazing person?_

With these thoughts, I have something to keep me going, even if it's to a future I swore I'd never accept. Happiness with the little things that I enjoy in this life, and no reason to confront the many things that I don't enjoy except to protect that happiness. But, I'd much rather have protected that smile…

If it wasn't for that, I'd have probably just turned my brain off and become a zombie to match my dead fish eyes. Huh? Wait, doesn't my life completely suck then?

Still, as one could expect, even in his texts Totsuka was an angel. A glistening light in near perpetual darkness. When I had the chance to interact with him more during my third year of high school, he was someone that could make trivial things like this something that even someone like me could enjoy. And now that I think about it, he should be on break at around this time as well, which means he could also be in the area and I wouldn't even know it. Could it be? Could my fated encounter come? Face to face after months of strained contact? At last, my time is now _._

With those pleasant thoughts in mind, I arrived at my destination, which was a simple open cafe near the station, somewhat close to the area where I should be able to pick up what Komachi has on her list. As lovely and as delicious as Komachi's breakfast was, she neglected a crucial part of my daily nutrition as an enrolled university student. Namely, caffeine.

I'm sure that was intentional as a means to look out for my best interests, but I'm sorry Komachi-chan. Your onii-chan is a good-for-nothing caffeine junkie. And as temping as a MAX coffee sounded, I'm also in the mood for a pastry to go with my fix. I don't go out much to do this sort of thing when I'm at school, after all. I only go when invited, and I'm only ever invited by a particular person who scolds me every time we go to a cafe due to me already drinking MAX coffee for every day that we don't go together. _Well, sorry about that._

It's no wonder she stopped inviting me. Or no, wait, it's probably because she's a year older than me and is currently busy submitting resumes and scheduling interviews and the like.

The person in question of course, is none other than my senpai and fellow Sobu High alumni, Shiromeguri Meguri, possessor of the Megu Megu Megurin Megurin Power.

Indeed, the calendar had just struck August of my third year of university, which for her meant that it was her fourth. I had some time yet before those worries would need to climb into my head. Despite that, when I think about how I'm just leisurely wasting away what precious free time I have left before I too become a busy fourth year, I can't help but realize that I haven't properly expressed my gratitude to Meguri-senpai for all that she has done for me. She was the one that recommended me to the same university as her, after all. A simple, not quite elite yet not quite commonplace university for the liberal arts that is not too close, yet not too far from Chiba, which at the time was exactly what I needed. And after that, she had guided me properly like the good senpai she was the whole way through, and that wasn't necessarily limited to scholastic activities either. Regardless of how things have turned out, I needed to see her again to express my thanks, that much was certain.

Exactly what it was that Meguri-senpai did for me, I couldn't be certain. For me, it was the worst kind of phenomenon. It was a change that I could not fully recognize through thought, only through feeling.

But it was in a moment like this that I could acknowledge that change, if that indeed is what it was. I felt somewhat different than how I think I would've felt otherwise. Truthfully, all this time away from Chiba has left me feeling somewhat homesick, that much was a feeling that I was completely expecting. With that feeling, however, came another that I wasn't used to, being the loner that I am.

That emotion welling up inside of me is something that I think I've learned to acknowledge and accept, largely thanks to Meguri-senpai's presence in my life. That feeling was one of loneliness.

It was a disgusting feeling, one of self-satisfaction and longing that I had always intended on putting beneath me. But even without Meguri-senpai, I'm not so conceited that I would believe that that emotion would not exist in me if not for her.

My first recollection of such an emotion was a long time ago. I'd be at home while my parents were at work, and I'd have the whole house to myself due to Komachi coming home late from club activities. Before my days as a Service Club member, mostly during my third year of middle school and first year of high school, that was my life. As a young teenage boy, it was absolute bliss. My own personal paradise unlike any other.

Komachi mentioned once that she had grown terribly lonely due to coming back to an empty house, so I took it upon myself to make sure to be home before her, even if that was going to be the case regardless. I stayed away from manga cafes and bookstores and other after-school pleasantries all for the sake of getting home as quickly as I could, which is not to say that staying home was a bad thing. And I have no doubt that it affected me much less than it affected her, but I too was not immune to loneliness. Perhaps if I had been an only child or perhaps if Komachi hadn't been so cute, that wouldn't have been the case. But I am painfully human as well, and even if my teenage self had other...occupations and interests...to be pursued, *ahem* there inevitably were moments where I too was lonely. Where I too had missed my little sister, someone who was a piece of my happiness. I've always prided myself on being a master of being alone, but once I found myself not to be alone, and once I found myself to enjoy that feeling, it became harder and harder to be like that for extended periods of time.

Not with everyone of course. I'd rather live a hundred lives and die alone in all of them than spend them with people unimportant to me. But for someone like Komachi, and in a place like Chiba…I had my reasons for doing what I did and Meguri-senpai helped me make the most of it, but in the end I wanted to be home more than anything else.

The part that's eating at me though is something else entirely. With the expected, came something else akin to loneliness, but it wasn't for Komachi and it wasn't for Chiba. It was for something that Meguri-senpai had reminded me of countless times in the moments that I had spent with her, and it was why I couldn't help but be reminded of my time as a student here, and it was why someone like Meguri-senpai had to be responsible.

But it wasn't just her that had to be responsible. I met Totsuka in my second year of high school. I didn't know what to make of it at the time, and even now I still don't, but there was a part of him that brought me peace. Whether it be his natural kindness or his...charming -yeah that's the word I'll use there, not cute or adorable, definitely- smile, there was something there that settled my usual apprehensive nature and restlessness.

I met Meguri-senpai in my second year as well, but it wasn't until I went to university with her that I truly came to know her. My initial impression of her was one of comfort. That is, if I wasn't careful around her, I would surely become too comfortable, and begin to feel and experience things that I actively tried to avoid.

Sure enough, Meguri-senpai wasn't the type to leave someone alone once they were under her wing, and eventually some things were bound to lead to others.

I let out a sigh, perhaps out of regret as I continued on my way down the street, trapped deep in a monologue that gave me no answers, now coming very close to my objective.

Whatever the case, she like Totsuka and like Komachi had a certain way of relaxing me. _The Megu Megu Megurin Megurin Power_ _really was magical, no ifs ands or buts about it!_

Though somehow, the three invoke a very similar yet very different feeling within me, and I wasn't sure if they were all feelings with the same purpose. My relationships with those three, what they've meant for me, and what that means to the me in the present...they were all things that I couldn't hope to understand through thought. And now, I wasn't sure if they were things that I could understand through feeling either.

Even so, my main takeaway from these influences and my own reflections on them are that even if I don't fully understand how, and even if I don't fully understand why, I've slowly begun to change. That much was undeniable. How that would affect me and how much it even matters, I do not know. But for the moment, I truly believe that I've made my peace with what I have now, and what I'd lost then.

I've come to terms with who I am now, and who I was then.

Just with that, it was good enough for me.

But just coming to terms with something doesn't necessarily mean that it's enough. What was good enough today might not be good enough tomorrow.

I understood that, but I didn't know how to take the next step. But before I had time to finish that thought, someone knocked me out of my stupor and asked if I was going inside. Embarrassed, I apologized and held the door open for them. Before I knew it, I was apparently at the storefront. In the monologue that gave me no answers, I ran out of ground to walk on and space to stand by, so I finally stopped soliciting at the destination that I seemed to arrive at long ago, and I went inside.

2-2

Soon enough, I sat down at a small table for two with my drink and pastry in hand. I took a brief sip of my coffee, only to realize that it was far too hot. Curse this cat's tongue of mine, it betrays me at every turn. With that, I looked out at the people walking by, and a thought occurred to me.

This atmosphere sure is familiar, I think Haruno-san called me out to a cafe just like this one a couple of times for some of her interrogations that she seemed to be so fond of back when I was in high school. Yeesh, just thinking about it makes a chill creep down my spine.

Ordinarily I'd feel like that's a random thought to have, but for some reason I keep thinking about the faces from my past more and more, and it just won't let up even for a moment. I'm not sure if Komachi jumpstarted my head, or if it has something to do with the calendar, but one way or the other these thoughts just don't seem to pass. In any case, thinking about someone like Yukinoshita Haruno could be pleasant depending on what it is you choose to exclude about her, so maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. In the first place, she leaves such an impression that I'm sure just about anyone that has come into contact with her would randomly think about her at any given moment. She's that kind of person, after all.

Well, it could be that, or it could be the cafe, or it could be the figure of that beautiful young woman walking nearby that would give me such thoughts.

"Eh? Is that Hikigaya-kun?"

 _Gee, that certainly figures. Just my luck._ Oh well, considering the last time I even talked to her sister, she shouldn't really have a reason to talk to me, that is, assuming I've judged her motives correctly. Heck, she might just give up if I ignore her long enough. Activating one of my 108 accumulated loner skills, "Loner who's deep in thought and shouldn't be disturbed at all costs!"

"Ah, it really is Hikigaya-kun! Hikigaya-kun, yahallo~!"

Haven't heard that one in a while. No matter, if she's being this persistent, I have to bust out the advanced version of this skill. Activate, "Suspicious person who should probably be avoided at all costs!"

"Hikigaya-kun? Hellooooo? Is anyone home?"

I seem to have overlooked one crucial piece of information. I totally forgot that the whole damn Yukinoshita family is undefeatable.

Damn it.

"...Hello."

"So you did notice me after all! Gosh Hikigaya-kun, what's up with that? It's not like we're strangers or anything, right?"

"...No. I guess we're not. Is there something you need?"

I really don't want to deal with this person. Activate, "I don't like being talked to but I also don't want to be rude so I'm going to give you that impression and make you end the conversation instead!" It's probably in vain, but I mean it's worth a shot. Then again, I keep forgetting that skill's a passive…

Although for some reason, Haruno-san seems unimpressed.

"Oh my, why so cold? Tell me, is there something you're trying to avoid here? Something you don't want to talk about maybe?"

With her piercing tone, she turns her cold eyes onto me and leans in from where she had approached from.

"Or do you just not like your ol' onee-san anymore?"

Unfortunately for her, she can read between whatever lines she wants, but where no business exists, no business exists. I'm no business major, but even I know that much. Nevertheless, she's the same as ever. If I had an Achilles heel with this woman, she'd be tapping at it without fail.

"It's not really like that, I mean I don't particularly like or dislike most people. I just figured I'd skip to the heart of the matter. I've never been one for excess conversation, you see."

"Of course. How could I ever forget?"

"Well I'm probably a pretty forgettable person. Not like I'd know, though."

Haruno-san gave me a strange look, her face slowly distorting before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"Ahahaha, wow Hikigaya-kun, I see you haven't changed one bit!"

"Yeah, I guess so."

As her laughing fit winds down, she wipes a tear from her eye and gives me the first straight look she's given me since arriving.

"And by that I mean, you still don't understand the first thing about yourself, do you?"

At a loss for words, I stutter before mumbling out.

"...Yeah, I guess so."

One thing I learned about Haruno-san as time went on is to be as unresponsive as possible. She treats people like a kid treats their toys. When she's bored, she'll toss it aside and move on to a new one.

"Ehhh how boooring Hikigaya-kun. How boooring."

Haruno-san finally took the other seat at the table and leaned down onto her hands. Huh? Isn't this the part where you excuse yourself?

"Well knowing you you're probably being like this on purpose. When I think about it that way, it kind of makes it more fun."

She's making business where it doesn't exist! What is she, an American?! Get me out of here!

"Anyways, I'm actually glad I ran into you."

"You should know that I don't take requests anymore."

Except from Komachi, of course. After I gave her such an impulsive answer, Haruno-san let out a strangely refreshing and genuine laugh.

"Ahahaha, c'mon now Hikigaya-kun, when have I ever made that sort of request, and from you no less?"

Just as quickly as that smile appeared, it disappeared into some sort of listless expression that I was unfamiliar with.

"Surely you'd know by now that I'm the sort of person that handles things by myself. You of all people would understand, right?"

Right when I think I'm getting a beat on her, she hits me with something else. It really is as if nothing has changed. She's as unpredictable as ever, as indicated by her facial expression which again changed into a teasing smile.

"But that's not what I'm here to discuss. Although, that might be something nice to talk about later on. Thanks for the idea."

And in the end, with or without business, Yukinoshita Haruno seems to have struck a deal. Boy, that embargo sure can pass through the Hachiman legislation any day now…

"I'm here to talk about some interesting news that I've been hearing about you. You go to the same university as Meguri-chan, right?"

I don't know what's worse, the fact that years later this woman still has infinite knowledge about my personal life, or the fact that years later I still let her do as she sees fit with me. This woman is just despair incarnate.

"...Yeah."

"Mmm I figured as much. After all, last time I talked to her, you were all that she could talk about."

Slightly stunned and without words to respond with, I could feel my face contort in confusion.

"What? You know better than anyone that, being the good, earnest senpai that I am, I like to keep up with my cute, little kouhais when I can. Though only the cutest of them are worth me going out of my way for, so you don't have to worry about having to share those affections, Hikigaya-kun~."

Rather than cute, it's clear that there has to be some point of interest for her to involve herself this much. If she wasn't interested in knowing or exploiting something, there's no way she'd be toying with me like this. That's not the Haruno-san I remember.

Then again, the Haruno-san I remember shouldn't have any reason to approach me in the first place. Not anymore. So why am I so uneasy about this? Is there an ulterior motive here, or am I overthinking things like I used to?

It's floated around in my head before, but at this point there's no doubt in my mind that Haruno-san has had me pegged since the moment we met. There's no way that could be true, and yet she's still managed to see right through me at every turn. And the biggest of my transparencies is my bad habit of trying to read between the lines, which is something that she's clearly noticed that I have yet to change. And what's worse than that is the fact that on my end, I still don't understand a thing about her.

But the main issue at hand here is that I know exactly what she's getting at, and there's nothing I can do about it. Or at least, that's what she makes it feel like. Such is the power of Yukinoshita Haruno, she who could make even someone like Yukinoshita feel just as helpless as I do. Despite that, I managed to push out a half-decent response.

"...That must have been some time ago then. It's been awhile since I've spoken to Shiromeguri-senpai, seeing as how she's a fourth year now."

"How very sad for Meguri-chan. She calls you by your first name without any honorifics, and yet here you are calling her by her last. I guess progress on the Hikigaya route is just as impossible now as it was then, huh? How very disappointing."

Haruno-san leaned in a bit closer, and her lower lip curled upwards in a way that seemed almost cruel.

"Then again, that's not what you call her when you're alone with her, is it?"

The look in her eyes told me that it wasn't a rhetorical question, so I responded as quickly and as soundly as I could without giving her the opportunity to read into my silence.

"...Maybe, but it's not the sort of relationship that you think it is."

"Yeah, it probably isn't. Hikigaya-kun is bad at understanding relationships when it comes to his own, after all."

Satisfied with my response, Haruno-san leaned back in her seat and began waving her hand around as if stating the obvious.

"I mean really, the poor girl called me, her friendly neighborhood senpai[2] and started asking for advice on what to do about job hunting. So naturally I did my best for my cute little kouhai, and one thing led to another and eventually it felt like she just kept on talking. Imagine my surprise when she asked me if I remembered you of all people, Hikigaya-kun."

Haruno-san leaned further back in her chair to stretch her back and closed her eyes. The way she was talking was as if she was a mother rambling to the other neighborhood housewives about how much trouble her child was.

"Of course, I told her that I remember all of my cute kouhai. And she just laughed and went on and on about you. She even went so far as to say that the worst part of job hunting is the fact that she has less time to see you, her good friend Hikigaya-kun."

With that, she opened one eye from her position and gave me a probing smile.

"Truly, I was shocked to be hearing such a bold sentiment from a pure, honest girl like Meguri-chan. Pretty crazy, right?"

Seeing my non-reaction, she continued as if nothing had happened and crossed her arms, assuming something resembling a thinking posture.

"So I thought to myself, boy, Hikigaya-kun must've changed so much since I last saw him. He sounds nothing like the troubled, adorable Hikigaya-kun that I remember."

She gave me another glance, this one with a remarkably unimpressed expression.

"And here I am, lucky enough to encounter a wild Hikigaya-kun. But for some reason, the Hikigaya-kun I'm seeing here looks just like the one in my Pokédex."[3]

Following her unimpressed expression was a slight smirk, as if she was prompting me for something. As cute as Haruno-san was trying to be, I wasn't in any mood to play along with her games, so I simply waited for her to continue.

"Tch, no fun."

Noticing that, she dropped her posture, rested her head on one hand as if suddenly bored, and tilted her head mockingly.

"So, what changed then? It certainly wasn't Hikigaya-kun. Was it the scenery? The situation? Were you able to free yourself of your shackles, Hikigaya-kun?"

With her last sentence, the tone of her voice shifted from one of disinterested mocking to almost one of disgust.

"I wouldn't call it...anything like that."

And in a moment, she moved her arms to her lap and sat upright, and began speaking normally for what felt like the first time since she arrived.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. You're not free from anything. They aren't either, after all."

Haruno looked off into the distance as if regretting something. Confused, I followed her line of sight and realized that she was looking at a mother disciplining her child for disobeying as she dragged the child by the hand in the opposite direction. In what felt like an attempt to refocus my attention, she asked me a question.

"Hikigaya-kun, I asked you before, didn't I? If that was really the genuine thing that you were looking for?"

That scene from my past replayed itself in my head, to which I responded by unintentionally scowling.

"Clearly you knew the right answer to that question, but the work you showed was all wrong. Then again, that sort of thing is something so very much like Hikigaya-kun, that I guess I can't completely fault you."

I quickly retracted my scowl, which Haruno seemed to have no response to. She looked into my eyes and was using a softer tone now than I was used to from her. With a sigh, she continued.

"Look, it's really not just you, but eventually enough is enough. You'll all need to learn how to do things for yourselves one day, just like your onee-san here. And you'll all need to figure out for yourselves what comes after that. For now though, I guess what can't be helped, can't be helped. That too, is something very much like Hikigaya-kun. So I'll let you in on what ol' Nee-san thinks, in hopes that you can make something interesting out of it."

She looked at me more seriously now than she ever had before, but within that look I could find no trace of cruelty.

"Hikigaya-kun. This genuine thing that you're looking for, I don't what it is myself, or if it even exists, but after this long surely even you understand that you can't achieve it with the way you are now, and with the way that you have been. And if it's like that, maybe it'd be better to just deem it to be impossible for you after all. But you've lived as if that was the case already, haven't you?"

Before she could finish her sentence, she closed her eyes, stood up from the table, and assumed the persona that I was used to seeing from her. When she reopened her eyes, she made her usual impish smile.

I held my head down and through gritted teeth, I voiced my impressions.

"Even if…even if that was true, who are you to say what I can and can't achieve, someone who doesn't understand what it is herself?"

"Ahaha, well, I guess you really are the same, Hikigaya-kun."

Her face quickly fell from its previous expression into one that almost felt like sadness.

"What a pity. And not just for your sake, either."

Of all the expressions that she could make, she made one that I couldn't hope to expect. Even though I didn't want her here, and even though she made me as uncomfortable as ever, I had to ask what that expression meant, but I just couldn't muster up the will. In those wasted moments, Haruno-san returned to her usual self.

"Well whatever, this much is fine for now, Hikigaya-kun, seeing as how I've got somewhere I need to be today. With that being said, I really do enjoy our little talks. Maybe watching the little gears shift inside your head really does just never get old for me."

She slightly turned her body away from me and waved her hand lightly, as if readying to make her exit.

"In any case, I want to make the most of whatever quality time I can get with Hikigaya-kun, so you can expect to be seeing me again."

As she turned away, she took a step before quickly turning back and calling out to me.

"Ah but before then, don't forget about what I told you. Make sure to go ahead and do something interesting for me, alright? Later!~"

Before I could get any words out, she turned heel again and was off with another wave of her hand. I watched her until she was out of sight, unsure of what to think. Unsurprisingly, even within the crowd of people she had submerged herself into, I could still point her out. She really did stand out that much.

In my mind as well, she was no different. I've never needed any help when it comes to overthinking things. As with most things, I can do that just fine on my own. But that woman is a breed unlike any other. She was someone who would pinpoint herself into your thoughts, and make sure she never left. And with her came every thought I never wanted to acknowledge.

I know what Haruno-san was getting at. By this point, I simply had to. I knew what she had to say about Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and I. What I didn't get was what that had to do with anything nowadays. If it's like she said, it might've been like what Hayama said all that time ago. It was so simple, but maybe relationships really didn't disappear after you went to college after all.

And if that was true, what was everything I've done up to this point even for?

When I think about it that way, I want to believe that Haruno-san's wrong about me when she said that I was the same as I was then. That I was the same as Hikigaya Hachiman, he who couldn't grasp hold of what was genuine, he who didn't understand, he who couldn't act. He who couldn't learn what should've been obvious.

It's funny, the more I thought about how far I'd come, the more I couldn't help but believe that the only thing that had changed about me was the way that I thought, and not the actions that I took. Changes without implementation weren't changes at all. And with those obvious things that I couldn't seem to learn was surely the fact that I still couldn't see what it was about myself that I would need to change. I still couldn't take the actions that I would need to take.

Like many other times before, I felt Hiratsuka-sensei's words resonate in my heart. To this sense of unease, that I shouldn't feel, but think. But thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere, and feeling only creates more unease to think about, but not act on. She promised that as long as I continued, the day would come where I would definitely be able to understand. And though I haven't stopped walking, the day has indeed come where I've looked back and felt betrayed by how far I thought I'd come.

In the moment I had forgotten what it was that Haruno-san had wanted with me, and what it was she was trying to accomplish by asking me about Meguri-senpai. The words she had left me with, however, stayed within me and brought me to a previous conviction I had held.

The distance I had covered, the steps that I'm taking now, and the steps that I hope to take in the future. The betrayal I feel when I look back, the unease that I feel now, and the uncertainty that I feel about what I will do next. It was like I told Yuigahama all along. If the past is full of regret, and the future is full of anxiety, then the present must be the best by default. No matter how much I thought and over-thought, it was what I did now that would define me.

Within those sentiments, I considered the words that Yukinoshita Haruno had to offer me.

That with the way I was then, and with the way I am now, it was impossible. She didn't understand what was genuine or if it even existed either, but that didn't mean that she was wrong.

So if it was impossible after all, could I accept that? Or would I be able to discard the remnants of my past and the abyss that was my future, and be able to fight for what was genuine right here, right now?

I didn't know myself, but what I did know was that at the very least, I had a couple places where I could start. And it started with Shiromeguri Meguri.

It would take some time yet, and I had no idea what it was that could take place between then and now.

But right here, right now, I found my resolve.

I dared to see it all through to the end. I dared to see for myself what would happen next.

I dared to live my life in the present.

And it was in that present that I finally took another sip of my coffee, only to realize that it had gone cold.

2-3

The future is held by those who would seize the day. That is, it is owned by those who would dare to live in the present. Indeed, it has not taken long for reward to find me. Not long after leaving the open cafe, I came to a small plaza on the way to a movie theater to kill time, where I found an angel lying in wait.

"Ah, Hachiman, is that you?"

It's only fair that I would encounter an angel after an unexpected date with the devil. And here before me is the mascot for heaven itself, Totsuka Saika.

"...Y-Yeah."

I could feel a light blush come to my cheeks as I squeaked my confirmation out. Unfortunately, there isn't really a whole lot that comes to mind in terms of what to say in this situation. _W-Why am I so embarrassed already?! Wait, why should I be embarrassed in the first place?!_

"Hey, you should've said something if you were going to be in the area. I don't get to see Hachiman much after all."

Totsuka made a light pouting face as he glared at me. Somewhere I had this face locked away in my brain's archive of Totsuka screenshots, but there really is no comparing it to the real thing. So this is real life, huh? Ah, reality. What a time to be alive.

"I, um, was going to. I haven't been here long, is all."

I also wanted to say that I find it to be presumptuous of me to announce such a thing to Totsuka while carrying such expectations, but for now I'll just keep that to myself. Though maybe I should've said it after all. I mean, Totsuka's slightly annoyed face is fine too...

"Hmm…"

He made an inspecting glance of my features. Oi, d-don't stare at me like that. People will get the wrong idea!

With a quick altering of his standing posture, he shot upwards and made something like a relieved smile.

"Well, as long as you at least thought about it. Make sure to act on it properly next time, okay?"

He's like a housewife delicately scolding her husband after he came back home late without calling to let her know. _What's with that weird imagery?!_

"Yeah, I'll be sure to."

Next time, he says. Next time. Next time for sure, I'm letting the world know. Hikigaya Hachiman is back in town! Only Totsuka visitors allowed!

"Good. So, um, as for right now…"

He began fiddling with his hands as he gave me an upturned gaze.

"Were you doing anything at the moment, Hachiman?"

What's with that way of asking? If you ask like that, of course I wasn't doing anything! Oh wait, but I guess I was supposed to be doing something wasn't I. Tsk, how bothersome.

"Yeah, I had an errand to run for Komachi."

"Ah, for your little sister, eh? That's very like you, Hachiman."

Totsuka lightly giggled as if finding that pleasant. S-So cute _…_ Due to my thought processes being filled with nothing but Totsuka, I could do nothing but offer up a lame response.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, definitely. I thought it might be weird to find you out here if it wasn't for a reason like that, after all."

This person...he knows me so well! When did our bond level rise so much?! Have I finally unlocked the elusive Totsuka ending?!

"Well yeah, can't say you're wrong about that."

Although now that I think about it, isn't that one of the meaner things that Totsuka has said to me? No no, my angel would not forsake me in such a way. Yeah, he was just giving his honest impression, that's all. How thoughtful of the good and honest angel, Totsuka Saika.

"Hey, um, I didn't really mean it like that! It's not that it's weird. I was just a bit worried that you might've been meeting someone here...or something…"

Is...is he jealous?! My time is now after all! Seize the day! Carpe diem is the way for me! But since he mentioned it, he didn't seem to be moving himself when I was walking through here.

"Speaking of, what are you doing out here?"

"I was waiting for someone myself, actually."

"O-Oh...I see…"

Yuigahama, I was wrong. The present really is the cruelest time after all.

"Um…well I wouldn't want to disturb then. I'll be heading this way."

"Wait, Hachiman!"

Before I could make my exit, Totsuka grabbed onto my shirt, turning me around and drawing the attention of those around us.

Okay, now I actually have a fair reason to be embarrassed. It was all in preparation for this moment, I swear.

"It's not whatever it is that Hachiman is thinking it to be! In fact, it'd be easier if Hachiman were to be here also."

"Huh? How does that work?"

"You see-"

"Sorry I'm late, Sai-chan! Eh…? Hikki?"

A familiar voice came to my ears, and when I turned to meet it, there before me was none other than Yuigahama Yui.

2-4

"Gooosh, Hikki should really eat something, ya know?"

"Like I said, I already ate. It's a bit late to be having breakfast now anyways."

Before I knew it, I had been dragged to a fast food joint with Totsuka and Yuigahama, who had been planning to meet up. Apparently, it's not what I think it is though. _Oi, I know I'm not the best at taking hints, but no matter which way you slice it, this is totally a date, right?_

"Mmm girls don't like it when they're eating in front of a guy and the guy's not eating, you know. Doubly so when it's, err, w-well, nevermind!"

While I somewhat get where she's coming from (no, I really don't), I don't quite understand which part of that should be worrying her.

"Doesn't really look like you have anything to be worrying about though. You look the same as ever to me. In fact, if anything you're...well, yeah."

Midway through I cut myself off and tried to hide the blush that came to my cheeks. Truthfully, Yuigahama looked amazing, better than ever in fact. But it wasn't really something I could say. Especially when I wasn't quite sure about what the relationship was between her and Totsuka.

"O-Oh...I see…"

Yuigahama turned bright red in response and began fiddling with the bun of her hair. Ah, it's almost refreshing to see how much she hasn't changed, right down to her trademark hairstyle. Although now that I take a closer look, perhaps I'm wrong about that. Her hair color wasn't the pink that I remember, but was instead what seemed to be its natural brownish color. A quick glance over what else about her had changed showed me that that wasn't the only thing either. _Oi, if you've developed your lower half also, I'll have no idea where to look! I know it's hot out and all, but put your weapons away where guys like me can't see! And I mean all of them!_

Noticing the awkward atmosphere, Totsuka spoke up to dispel the situation.

"In any case, I'm really glad we ran into you Hachiman. It makes this all a whole lot easier."

So it's like I thought, eh? Well, I suppose this isn't too big of a surprise, and I'm not totally uninvolved to the point that my presence here would be weird. Still, I can't help but feel a strange emotion boiling up inside of me, one that I would rather not acknowledge. Otherwise, I'd surely come to hate myself.

"...How's that?"

My voice came out a lot rougher than I had intended. They seemed to have noticed, as Yuigahama began fidgeting about before pushing out her response.

"Hey, Sai-chan! Don't be giving him any weird ideas!"

Totsuka simply laughed off her worries.

"I'm not, I just think that since I was going to tell him either way, it might make it easier if you were here too. Besides, t-there's nothing weird about it, right?"

He came up slightly embarrassed at the end as he shot an unsure glance. Yuigahama followed after him with a similar response.

"Mmm I guess you might be right, but well...Maybe it just doesn't feel right because I think I should be the one to tell him…although that would kinda make this whole thing meaningless then, huh…"

She trailed off a bit at the end, but as if shaking that off, Yuigahama looked at Totsuka with eyes full of resolve, seemingly probing him for a response.

Acknowledging this, Totsuka voiced his approval.

"Yeah, kind of. It's completely fine though! That's what I said you should do in the first place! But well, I'm kind of glad that it worked out like this anyways."

With that, Totsuka looked at Yuigahama and I expectedly, waiting for Yuigahama to make her move. There's an unusual sinking feeling that I still can't quite shake off, and at the same time I also can't help but wonder what the point of all this is. However, it's also true that this was probably the least I could do after this long. Even I can recognize that.

"Y'see, Hikki...I was meaning to ask you something, but it's not really something I can ask you by text. You never respond to my texts, anyways...And actually what's with that?! I have to ask Sai-chan about what's going on with Hikki, isn't that totally wrong?!"

To be fair, Totsuka's texts are so sweet and to the point. Even the way he asked for my number was like that. Yuigahama's texts are often so frivolous and carefree, that obviously a guy like me would have no idea what to say, especially considering the circumstances. Plus, it sort of feels like you're my mom calling in to check up on me, so please stop.

"It's just...that I don't think that my relationship with Hikki should be like that. I think it's all wrong."

Yuigahama shook her head lightly, and brushed off some small tears that were forming at her eyes.

"Maybe it's my fault for not making things clear. The order of things couldn't have been worse, but even so. Even so I want to try, because it's important to me."

She steeled herself, and looked at me head on from the other side of the table. In that moment, the sounds from the rest of the restaurant felt empty, and her voice rang out above all others.

"Hikki, will you be my friend?"

"...Huh?"

Blindsided, I was left with no other way to respond to her. Even my face felt frozen, unable to acknowledge her words.

"All that time, I think I made the wrong assumption. I wanted to believe that I was getting closer to Hikki, but maybe you never saw me as anything but a club member. I think I was trying to force something that had never gotten past step one, because I never thought to ask. With that bet too, what I was trying to do was all wrong. For a time I believed that it may have been too late, but I just had to ask anyways, just in case. W-Whattyou say?"

I suppose I should've known better. Yuigahama is the loyal dog type. There's no way that she would've left me alone, not unless we said our goodbyes properly. It's not like that was what I wanted in the first place. I just thought that my solution would be for the best, all things considered. Instead I may have just been forcing my will onto her. Instead I was just running away from the things I didn't want to struggle through. Instead I was just doing whatever I wanted, just like how it was in the Service Club. I knew it then, but I couldn't acknowledge it. There wasn't anything genuine about that kind of answer. But genuine or not, the correct words wouldn't find their way to my tongue. And if this kept up, it was only a matter of time before my natural instincts kicked in. It was as I feared, I could think and rethink about this situation a million times. I could make all the resolutions I wanted, but I guess some things there was just no helping, and Haruno-san was right after all.

"I...I don't…"

"That's why I said that I was glad that we ran into you, Hachiman."

"Huh?"

Confused, I gave Totsuka a bewildered glance.

"You see, I feel just like Yui-chan. After all, I've always considered Hachiman to be my friend, and I even call you by your first name. But even if I talk to you more than other people and even if you respond to my texts, I couldn't help but wonder if that was enough for me also. So today Yui-chan invited me to lunch as a way of paying me back for keeping her up-to-date with how Hachiman was doing."

Totsuka motioned to Yuigahama, who looked like a child with her hand caught in the cookie jar. Flustered, she blushed deeply and tried to play it off.

"I-It really is embarrassing when you put it that way…"

"But since we ran into Hachiman, we can resolve all these requests at once like old times. Although I was never actually in your club, hehe."

He let out a small giggle and stuck out his tongue cutely to show us how silly the whole situation felt. Really, this whole thing is so cute and embarrassing and strange. I had no idea that something like this could even happen. It's so bewildering, especially with how things have been for me lately. Looking to continue, Totsuka straightened up and looked at me seriously.

"So me too, I want us to be even better friends than we are now. I know we're all going to be busy, and that we might not have that much time, but still. I want to be selfish and ask for some of your free time. To hang out like this and to talk about more things together. Is that okay…Hachiman?"

"That's...not really up to me, right?"

I wanted to voice my skepticism. I wanted to say something about how impossible it all was. But somehow, some way, the loner in my mind remained silent, as if he too wanted to see what could happen next.

"Eh, if it wasn't up to you, who else would it be up to?"

He knew better than anyone what something like this could mean. He knew better than anyone about the things that could go wrong. And yet, that very loner looked to take that step forward even if it meant everything he thought it could mean. I knew that I would never be rid of him, but right now it doesn't feel like I'll ever need to be. Because it was with who I was, who I am, and who I always will be, that I am able to live in these moments, in the present where I felt like I belonged.

"Yeah...you're right. That's…"

I felt a smile creep onto my face. I knew it was a contorted, creepy smile. I knew it was one that must've seemed unnatural or unusual. But it also must've been a smile that was very much like me.

"That's fine, then."

"Are you sure? I really will pester you, you know. I already know Hachiman isn't the type to talk about himself very much, but there are a lot of things I'd still like to know."

In sharp contrast to how she was behaving earlier, Yuigahama was suddenly full of energy, as she pounced up and down out of her seat with her hand raised.

"Ah! Me too, me too! I've wanted to know all kinds of things for a while now!"

Both of them were staring straight at me with eyes full of expectation. I felt my face turning red in response, so I tried to play if off as naturally as possible.

"...I'm not some open book gossip queen, alright? In the first place, I'm really not that interesting so I don't know what it is that you two are looking for here. I also get worn out from talking to people about ten times faster than the average human, so if you talk to me too much, I won't hesitate to ignore you and not feel bad about it."

It might be saying a bit too much, but hey the truth is the truth. Some things never change.

"Well of course!"

"That's what makes Hikki, Hikki after all. Hehe~"

Without any hesitation whatsoever, my mouth fell slightly agape at how quickly their faces lit up, as if they wouldn't have it any other way.

These people. No matter what I said, they were going to cling to me no matter what. A long time ago, I thought that this might've been a lie. A long time ago, I would've rejected the notion and chosen to live as I always had in solitude. But a long time ago, it would've been a choice where I had no say in the manner, and therefore it wouldn't have been a choice at all.

As a result, I wasn't someone that could ever surround myself with people, whether it be by choice, force, or desire. A product of my environment, maybe. But it was who I was regardless, and though it wasn't much, it felt like more than what I needed. And perhaps most importantly, for the first time, in a long time, it felt like something that I wanted, and that I could say.

"Well, it's fine as long as you both understand. Anyways, I should get going."

Despite all this, I still had my own matters to attend to. That…and I mean come on, this has been embarrassing enough already. I have no idea what to do from here, so please allow me this tactical retreat.

They seemed to have caught my drift, since once again without a moment's hesitation, they both nodded in understanding.

"Okay, see you later then, Hachiman. I'd love to hang out again when you have the time. You'll let me know if you're up for it, right?"

"...Yeah."

I responded to Totsuka's broad smile with a sheepish one of my own. Unfortunately, it was probably still pretty creepy.

"Hehe~. And I'll text you soon, Hikki. You'll respond this time, right?"

"...Yeah."

To Yuigahama's flushed face which looked so genuinely filled with happiness, I grew only more sheepish. This kind of nice girl. She was someone that I couldn't have gotten along with. Someone that I couldn't have allowed to penetrate my defenses. I couldn't say for sure if I had been wrong back then. That would be to deny my own experiences and my own self. What I could say, though, was that I was strong enough now to not mind being wrong again.

With that, I left the restaurant and went my separate way. Somehow I still have an errand to run, yet I find myself to be completely exhausted. For now I should get that done as soon as possible, and when I get home I'll have all the time in the world to think this over. But when I looked ahead, there was at least one thing that I wouldn't need to think about anymore.

That this time, I would make sure to respond properly.

2-5

Somewhere along the way, it ended up getting a lot later than I had realized. After handling Komachi's errand, I went straight home to take a nap in my room. Seriously, everyone in the world deserves their own room to take a nap in when they're tired. It basically should be on the same level as civil rights.

With a yawn, I checked the clock and found it to be just about dinnertime in the Hikigaya household. Sure enough, I hear a familiar voice coming from the kitchen. What's with that? Is Komachi on the phone or something? In any case, now that she's back, I can finally give her a piece of my mind.

I hopped out of bed, and leisurely made my way to the kitchen where I found Komachi.

"Ah, Onii-chan. I'm back.~ Did you get those appliances I asked for?"

"Yeah, they would've been a pain to drag back here so I placed an order for them to be shipped here sometime next week. Speaking of, you little snake, we totally could've just ordered them online! What the heck was the point of me having to go there in person?!"

I gave Komachi my best annoyed onii-chan face in hopes that it would discourage her from doing this kind of thing in the future. Unfortunately, she couldn't see it due to her back being turned to me, but she knows me well enough that I'm sure she could feel the expression I was making. I wasn't really mad at her though. After all, a lot of things happened and while I can't say for sure what was for better and what was for worse right now, I could at least admit that I'm better off for the experience. That is, the Totsuka experience of course.

"Oops. I guess that was a possibility wasn't it. Teehee.~"

"Oi, don't tell me you did that on purpose, you little-"

But with that being said, going out is still going out and to someone like me, you better give me a damn good reason even if the ends do somehow end up justifying the means. It's all in the principle. The principle, I say!

"My bad, Onii-chan. My bad. It definitely was on purpose. I might've been jumping the gun a bit, or err, maybe expecting a bit too much with that though. In any case, the situation seems to be a bit different than I had realized, so maybe Komachi troubled you with something unnecessary. Sorry!"

Unexpectedly, Komachi had suddenly turned away from the food that she was working on and gave me a slight bow with her eyes shut tightly.

As rare as it was for my sister to actually give me a sincere apology, there was indeed something to be said about her meddling, a method to her madness, if you will. So I decided not to scold her too much. Though it all still felt very surreal, and somewhat embarrassing. To refrain from letting her see a blush creep to my cheeks, I turned around and moved to prep the dining room for dinner in case Komachi hadn't already.

"Well, I guess it's fine since it all more or less worked out, but I'm not quite sure if I know what you mean by that- Huh?"

As I began my movements, I saw that it had already been done. More importantly, I also saw an unfamiliar phone sitting on the dining room table, but before I could hear my voice come out to ask Komachi about it, I heard a noise coming from the side.

"Thanks for letting me use your restroom, Komachi-chan. I'm ready to help you with dinner. Eh? Senpai, you're finally awake?"

"I-Isshiki…?"

…

[1] - A 1982 song written by Jeff Silbar and Larry Henley. Performed by many artists, but perhaps best known for its use in the 1988 film _Beaches_.

[2] - "Friendly neighborhood" is a term often used by the Marvel superhero Spider-Man in reference to himself.

[3] – In Pokémon games, the player encounters various wild Pokémon on their journey that are recorded in a small handheld called a Pokédex. The data entries in the Pokédex are updated as Pokémon evolve.

…

 **A/N: There's Chapter 2 for you folks. Before I sign off, I just want to go over a couple of things. First, I just want to say that there are no characters tagged in this story besides Hachiman for a reason. Take that as you will, but you'd be doing yourself a favor if you didn't assume any pairings just yet, even as more and more things get revealed. Second, I can assure you that more characters will be reintroduced as things progress with our main man Hachiman. If they're a character that shows up for more than 1 or 2 light novels, they're probably going to be making an appearance here in due time. Basically, we don't have a main cast yet by any means. Finally, thank you for all of the support that I received for the first chapter. It wasn't much, but I'm glad some of you liked it. Iroha and more on deck. R & R if you wish, otherwise until next time, **

**-Lyzen**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: And we're back. Last time Hachiman had some fun in the city with the reappearance of some familiar faces. This time he finds himself coming home to no quarter, where Komachi and Iroha lie in wait. Let's get to it.**

Chapter 3: Once again, Isshiki Iroha wishes for something.

3-1

"I-Isshiki?"

"Gooosh Senpai, I can't believe you're still sooo slooow …"

…It feels strangely nostalgic to have this thought run through my head again like this, but no, this time I really mean it. Why are you here?

"Ah, sorry for not letting you know, Onii-chan. Iroha-senpai here will be joining us for dinner. As you can probably guess, she was the one who I spent the day catching up with. But well, one thing led to another and neither of us wanted the day to end quite yet, so…here she is. Hehe.~"

"…"

What kind of reason was that? Is that some sort of natural progression that just happens between friends? If so, Totsuka, next time you're going to be spending the night too.

"O-Oi! Don't give me that look! To be fair, I even called to let you know that she was coming, so if anything it's your fault for being asleep in the middle of the day and not answering your phone!"

Hey now, I had a long day, alright? And by the way, sleep is really undervalued among university students, so you're the last person who should be criticizing me for napping, Komachi-chan. You'll understand soon enough.

Also, I wasn't even giving you a look that time. That's literally just how my eyes look…

"Beeesiiides…it's Iroha-senpai we're talking about. It's not like it's anyone you're not comfortable around."

"…Iroha-senpai, huh…"

Still, no, that's really not the point here. Also, since when were you two so close that you could just casually meet up like this? I know you two got along...eventually...when I was a third year in high school, but why the heck is the atmosphere so strong here that it almost feels like I'm the outsider?

"Thaaat's me! I tried getting her to just call me by my first name, but Komachi-chan insisted on keeping the senpai attached. You Hikigayas really are weird about the strangest things."

We're the weird ones? I'm pretty sure that might just be the first time I've ever heard Isshiki say my last name. I wasn't even convinced that she knew what it was for a while. Seriously, at least she's attaching something instead of literally just calling you "Senpai".

"But weeell, I kind of like it. I think it's nice having someone to call you senpai, don't you think, Senpai?"

Isshiki gave me a playful smile accompanied with a slight wink. It was relatively modest by her standards, if I'm being honest about it. It kind of felt like she only did it in remembrance of our high school days.

Well, I guess it was fine by me if this aspect of Isshiki Iroha hadn't changed. It was what made her, her after all. To me she was still just as sly, and just as foxy as ever, and for some reason I found myself enjoying that.

"Yeah, maybe it is."

"A-Anyways…"

With that, Isshiki cleared her throat and moved from where we were standing near the dining room into the living room, while seeming to signal to Komachi to finish up preparing dinner without her. Huh? If you do something like that so wordlessly and peacefully, I'll get scared you know.

A closer look at Isshiki's movements also showed me that she didn't only act as foxy as ever, she even looked foxier than ever to boot.

I felt a sudden chill creep down my spine and a lumpy sensation gather up at the back of my throat. I nervously swallowed it back and averted my eyes away from Isshiki for the time being.

On one hand, I have no doubt that Isshiki and my sister are actually friends. One way or another, they definitely suit each other. But on the other, I also have no doubt that this is one of Komachi's schemes. Geez, I know we just had that conversation earlier this morning, but aren't you playing your hand a bit too early, Komachi-chan?

And if that were to be the case…as strangely refreshing and simultaneously nerve-wracking as this was, why, just why did it have to be Isshiki Iroha of all people?

When she got to the living room, she took some time to make herself comfortable on the couch before motioning for me to join her. Reluctantly, I opted to do so due to not having any sort of out in this situation.

"It really has been a while, hasn't it, Senpai?"

Surprisingly, Isshiki had something of a distant look in her eyes and was speaking a lot more seriously than I would have expected from her.

Well, maybe it's something I should have expected, all things considered. I don't know if Komachi knows exactly what she's done by bringing Isshiki here, but if not then I suppose it's not something she could have known anyways. Still, now was neither the time nor the place for me to confront this part of my past. Not like this.

"Yeah…I guess it has been."

Conscious of my sister's nearby presence, I tried to be responsive without contributing too much to a legitimate conversation in fear of where it would head.

"Y'know…"

Just that small phrase came out in a hush. After a short pause, Isshiki was visibly having trouble continuing what she was trying to say, but with great effort she managed to get her words out with her body now turned towards me and with her fist held tightly against her chest.

"I know it must've been awkward for you, but you didn't have to go so far away like that. Though I guess it must've been my fault in the first place huh…"

I met her glance only to find that her eyes were growing more moist by the second. Like I said, the time and place for this is neither here nor there. But even so, I knew I at least owed it to Isshiki to give her my honest thoughts after this long.

"…It's really not as far off as you think. It was a pretty good college that was suitable for what I was trying to do anyways. It really…had nothing to do with what you're thinking about."

"…C'mon Senpai, what exactly do you take me for?"

With a pout, Isshiki turned her eyes away from mine and focused on Komachi. I'm wasn't sure what their relationship was and I wasn't sure how much Isshiki had told her, but if anything I could tell that Isshiki wasn't here to make a scene.

"Well…whatever. How are they, by the way?"

By that, Isshiki certainly had to be referring to the other two members of the Service Club, Yukinoshita Yukino and Yuigahama Yui. Unfortunately, I could give something of a response on Yuigahama's part, but I knew nothing on what I could say about Yukinoshita. And challenging the question itself would be nothing short of cruel at this point.

"I know that Yuigahama is doing fine, at least."

"Ah, Yui-senpai, eh? Yeah, I guess I figured it would've had to have been her."

While she certainly made her best attempt to hide it, Isshiki seemed to have been displeased with my response. More importantly, however, she was clearly misunderstanding something here.

"No, err, it's not what you think it is. I actually hadn't spoken to Yuigahama in quite a while until recently." _Yeah, very recently._

As soon as those words left my mouth, I remembered just earlier today how Yuigahama's face lit up when I...tentatively "accepted" her friendship. When I did, I could feel my stomach turn in discomfort and unease. Perhaps it wouldn't be fair to Yuigahama to just leave it at that. Eventually, I would need to be able to say it myself.

"But…despite that. I guess you could say that we're still…friends…I guess…"

Is that right? To say it wasn't right was to spit in the face of all of the effort that Yuigahama put forth today. And yet even then, it really was too much for me. I felt a light blush creep to my cheeks, but being very conscious of Isshiki I prevented her from seeing it at all costs by turning my head away as if I was looking for something.

After an unusually long silence, I turned my head back to Isshiki to see what the matter was. Strangely enough, Isshiki was looking at me like I was the biggest idiot in the world. Okay, maybe that was a little weird, but c'mon you don't need to look at me like that.

"Huh?"

Ah, that too was pretty nostalgic. As tense as this was all making me feel, like Yuigahama, it was somehow refreshing to see how much Isshiki hadn't changed.

Wait, no, I definitely remember being annoyed whenever she'd get all dumbfounded like this over the silliest of things. That was one of the sly parts about Isshiki Iroha, you were never quite sure which parts of her annoyed you and which parts you found endearing. I better be more careful from now on.

Isshiki didn't seem to be responding, so I figured I had to come up with something to play it off.

"Ah, sorry. I thought I heard our cat scraping around somewh-"

"No no, not that!"

Isshiki waved her hands rapidly as if to dismiss something so abrasively off-topic. No, but I was explaining myself?

"…What?"

"Senpai, you have friends? And what do you mean still?"

…Y'know, if this was the me in middle school, I would probably wait for you to leave so I could crawl under my covers and wish that I could die. And if it was the me in high school, I would probably look you in the eyes and tell you damn straight I don't. But the me in college, the me in college frankly is just confused.

"Yeah, I guess?"

"I seeee, hmmm…"

Isshiki's face hardened up from the softened, moist state that it was in earlier, and all of a sudden it looked revitalized enough to remind me of the old Isshiki Iroha that I had known from back then.

"So Senpai isn't quite the same as he was back then, eh? It wasn't quite like how I thought it'd be, not one way, and not the other either. But if it's like that, then…"

Isshiki began mumbling to herself inaudibly, leaving me to try to get her to refocus. Really Irohasu, I don't know what kind of impression you're getting here, but this kind of thing doesn't come easy for me, so the least you could do is not leave me hanging, because I really don't know what to say.

"Um, it really shouldn't come as THAT much of a surprise, should it?"

Isshiki came out of her stupor as quickly as she had entered it, and once again she was looking at me like I was the biggest idiot on the planet. _I swear to you Isshiki, if I here another "Huh?" come out of you…_

Regardless, I lamely offered up an alternative as a counterpoint, and not for any reason other than the fact that Isshiki had me slightly vexed with her shenanigans.

"I mean, there was always Totsuka, right?"

No matter what, Totsuka would always come to my rescue, whether it be in abstract conversation, or in the dreams that I would have at night.

"Ah, you mean that guy that looked a lot like a girl, to the point that it made me kind of uncomfortable whenever he'd be around Senpai when I was in my second year?"

This girl. As Tobe used to say, this girl has no chill. Straight up.

"W-Well, when you put it that way…"

"And there was also…no wait, yeah, I think that was it."

No, you're definitely excluding Zaimokuza and you totally know it. Jesus, Irohasu. Straight savage. _Alright, that's enough Tobe for one lifetime. Never again._

"He doesn't really count if you ask me, it always seemed like a pretty one-sided friendship, if that's even possible. Then again it's Senpai we're talking about after all, so it probably is."

This was a part of Isshiki Iroha that I had forgotten about, one that made her all the more difficult to deal with. When it didn't concern her directly, she was not only able to really lay it all out on the table, but she'd be sneakily perceptive about certain things, and use that to her advantage.

"And as for Yui-senpai and Yukinoshita-senpai, it probably isn't right to be hearing it from me, but there was no way something like that was on the level of friendship."

"…"

Yeah, I knew that already without you telling me. I knew for myself how disingenuous that relationship was.

"Come to think of it, you weren't really my friend either, huh?"

"No kidding."

Considering how you treated me, definitely not. Then again, before I joined the Service Club, I lived a peaceful life of nonexistence. And after I joined the Service Club, it felt like I was literally everyone's spare pair of hands. Huh? What kind of convenient existence am I? And on that note, what kind of tool do you have to be, to be convenient to everyone but yourself?

Before I descended into the void that was my innermost thoughts, Isshiki continued the conversation with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Well, even though Senpai and I were never officially something that you could call friends, we still had a lot of fun together, riiight?"

"Yeah. Right. Fun."

"Ehhh you liked it and you know it…although speaking of the fun we had together, and I guess, to get back to what I was originally trying to say here…"

Isshiki suddenly leaned in on her hands and gave me an upturned look, as if she was expecting the most in-depth and honest answer that I could give her.

"Senpai, were you ever able to properly use it as reference?"

It went without saying, but she had to have been referring to the date she forced me on in my second year, as well as the handful of dates she forced me on in my third year, all in the name of "reference". No use playing dumb about that. Her eyes were sparkling, but judging from this context, I couldn't be sure what answer she was hoping to receive. And if that's the case, the only answer I could think to give her would be the truth, which might've been what she wanted all along.

Whether this was Isshiki being as sly as she's always been to pry an answer from me, or if this was me overthinking things like I always do, the truth was the one thing I absolutely could not give her, and just knowing that made me feel sick to my stomach because it was once again as if nothing had changed.

Isshiki has seemingly been making it a point to dance around the subject without saying anything directly, maybe because Komachi is here, or maybe even for my sake. Because of that. I want to believe that because of that, I should be doing the same.

But to engage in such a superficial discussion where the truth was never said was against everything that I believed in, both then and now. Hypocritical to the end, I held that belief very closely, but my actions couldn't have been more different.

Indeed perhaps as it was then, and perhaps as it is now, I'm the only one being superficial. Isshiki Iroha had done nothing wrong. I'm the one incapable of being genuine with her. I'm the one that can't tell the truth as it is, or the truth as it was.

And if there was anyone out there that deserved to know that truth, it was Isshiki Iroha.

For that which I have done wrong, for the failures that I sought to bury, they have yet come to correct themselves. So why is it that I still wish to bury myself with those failures?

Lost in my rhetoric, I felt the silence in the room, and I knew that I was unable to answer the question that Isshiki had put before me.

Either sensing this or taking my silence as her answer, Isshiki sighed.

"Well, it doesn't really matter to me one way or the other, so long as I'm not imposing now, I suppose."

Unsure of what she meant, I thought to ask for clarification, however unfair that might've been of me.

"But if it's like that, it might be better for you to just hear things from my end. So would you listen to my story, Senpai?"

Before I could get the chance, Isshiki was set on another course.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I guess…"

In the first place, I wasn't in any condition to say or do anything to the contrary, so I let her do as she saw fit. She crossed her legs and placed her hands together at the edge of the mini-skirt that she was wearing, and began speaking. _Though if you sit like that, you're going to make it really hard for me to listen to you properly..._

"Y'see, nowadays Komachi-chan is my closest friend, and in a lot of ways she reminds me of Senpai and in a lot of ways she's also different. Initially, I thought 'Gee, those really are siblings for you, huh?' But as time went on, the ways that she reminded me of Senpai started to stand out more and more."

Hearing her name be mentioned, Komachi turned her body back towards us away from the stove, and made a sly grin with her finger pointed upwards.

"I know I've been silent up to this point and I'm not quite sure where you're going with this, but let the record show that just this once, I'll take being compared to my onii-chan as a compliment, because I think it's higher in Komachi points."

"A-Ahahaha…"

At being suddenly cut off, Isshiki laughed awkwardly while scratching at her face. She really was trying to get into her story, huh?

And Komachi, you idiot, don't go interrupting just to talk about your silly point system, in front of someone like Isshiki no less. Talk about embarrassing.

But Isshiki seemed mostly unfazed, and moved to continue her story.

"Anyways, in the ways that she reminds me of Senpai…"

Isshiki trailed off as if having trouble realigning her thoughts.

"In the ways that she reminds me of Senpai, she's someone that I just find myself gravitating to and someone that I just can't help but be myself around."

...Speaking of embarrassing...O-Oi! Don't go saying junk like that in front of Komachi, look she's embarrassed too!

"And it's because of that, now I feel like I'm able to really put things into perspective."

Whoa, maybe this isn't quite the same Isshiki I knew after all. What the heck has happened in just a few short years?

"My first year of college was a real drag, y'knooow. It was really awkward in Hayama-senpai's group because, well, I'm sure you know why."

Ah right, that was during my third year of high school. Hayama wasn't telling anyone where he was going for college, because due to his good grades and high social pedigree, he'd likely be going somewhere unreachable for just about anyone except someone like Yukinoshita. As a result, Hayama didn't want to influence anyone's decision and make them choose a college close to his just so they could be near him. It was essentially the same as the incident that happened during my second year of high school involving which course Hayama would be taking as a third year, but on a larger scale. The reason then, for Yumiko Miura was that she knew their time was running short. And when the time actually came, nobody could accept that their time had run out.

Still, for someone like Hayama who told me that relationships didn't reset after you went to college, it didn't make sense to me why something like that would cause what it caused. Which in turn made me believe that there had to be more to the story on Hayama's end, something that I didn't know and something that I had no business knowing. After all, it had nothing to do with me and frankly I didn't care either.

Taking my nonresponse as a cue to keep going, Isshiki snapped her fingers once to get my attention again, and continued. I'm not some sort of small pet, y'know? I just think a lot.

"Yeah, there was that, and there was also what happened between me and Yui-senpai and Yukinoshita-senpai too, so I had no idea what to do. I didn't really get along well enough with the other Student Council members to consider myself friends with them rather than colleagues, and there was no else like that in my year either. Komachi's a year younger and had entrance exams to study for, so I was really on my own out there."

In response to Isshiki's words, I could feel my chest pang with guilt.

"I tried becoming friends with some girls from my classes, but like, I've never been too good at befriending other girls for a variety of reasons so that didn't work. I befriended a couple of guys pretty easily and even went out with a couple of them, but that never got anywhere. Heck none of them even got past the first date with me because they were all so lackluster compared to Hayama that I never wanted to settle. And…"

As she adjusted herself to find the words that she was looking for, she uncrossed her legs and sat on her hands timidly.

"And I guess compared to Senpai, they weren't all that interesting."

Seriously, what's with everyone assuming I'm interesting these days. Did I evolve into Mr. Personality at some point? Me, the same person known to have been described as rotten more times than I could count?

Boy, if my old classmates back at my middle school caught wind of this, they'd probably laugh themselves into the grave, which…you know what, if Mr. Personality is who I have to be, then it's who I have to be. So, where are you all right about now? I'll get a shovel on hand and everything.

"Yeah, my onii-chan is pretty gross, but I can totally get where you're coming from."

Komachi-chan, you know that doesn't make any sense, right? Also I've been called gross more times than I can count too, but that one makes a whole lot less sense than rotten.

Really, what kind of children would have the gall to call me Hikkifroggiya-kun when I was easily the cleanest kid in class? I didn't have anyone to play with, after all. AKA I had no one to scrape my knees roughhousing with, I had no reason to come home and track mud everywhere, I didn't sweat more than I needed to because I wouldn't have anyone to push myself against, etc.

Tch. Whatever. Damn kids.

"So with nothing better to do I had a lot of time to think on some stuff. With that I eventually started contacting Komachi again on and off once she started settling into college life, and well, here we are now."

As soon as Isshiki finished her sentence, a faint noise could be heard coming from the kitchen. When I looked over, Komachi had made a brief sigh.

"It annoys me because the way she puts it really makes it feel like I'm a substitute for Onii-chan, but whatever. It's fine because we both have something to gain from all this, right Iroha-senpai?"

"Gooosh Komachi-chan, you could've just left it at us having a couple similar interests, couldn't you?"

"Oops. I guess you're right. Teehee.~"

Her exasperation quickly replaced itself with a cheeky grin and a playful knock on her head. I really don't understand the relationship between these two, but apparently it's safe to assume that I'm involved in some way. And with that presumably being the case, and if this is going in the direction that I think it is…

This is going to get complicated and difficult, and fast.

I still couldn't say anything with complete certainty, but I also couldn't see any of this ending well if I didn't do anything.

While I restlessly shuffled in my seat as I pondered my next move, Isshiki gave me a sideways glance and cleared her throat once more to resume speaking.

"So basically I've grown to like being around you guys quite a bit, especially since it's such a hassle otherwise, as I've found out."

"Ah that's typical Iroha-senpai for you, always saying one thing too many."

Whatever their relationship was, it seemed friendly enough and precious enough to Komachi that I couldn't risk compromising it. For the moment, I had no choice but to go along with Isshiki.

But if that were to be the case, and if it were to end up in the same way that it did last time...

I once again couldn't see a damn thing changing. Compared to back then, it might've just been worse. And that's when I realized.

About Hayama's group, and about what actions he took to protect that place which he cared about so dearly.

Suddenly I found myself being no different than him. I found myself protecting some superficial existence that had long since faded. What came forth was the truth, but Hayama tossed that aside for a reason I couldn't hope to know. And I…

I tossed it aside for a reason I knew, but couldn't hope to accept.

What he and I were protecting were surely different in nature, but our cowardice and our selfishness were also surely the same.

But what was it all for, if not to pursue that which had eluded me greatly?

And with that I realized, that what I've done couldn't have led to anything like that. And I finally understood what Haruno-san was trying to tell me. With that realization, I turned my attention back to Isshiki just as she finished bantering with Komachi.

"So that's the end of my story. But as a footnote to it. You know, Senpai..."

Her voice trailed off at the end, and she began shuffling in her seat uncomfortably.

"Do you remember what I told you back in high school?"

Whatever it was she was referring to, judging by that reaction it couldn't have been anything I wanted to deal with right now, so I decided to play it off.

"I'm sure you told me a lot of things in high school, so I don't really know what to tell you there. It was a long time ago anyways."

Noticing my intention to sidestep her question, Isshiki made a familiar pouting gesture as she placed her hands on her hips and leaned towards me.

"Gooosh Senpai, it's rude to make a girl spell it out for you, you knooow."

Her pouting demeanor slowly faded from her person, and for a few moments she took on a more contemplative look. Finally, she continued.

"If it's for you though, I suppose I could make an exception. Be grateful for it okaaay?"

She began shuffling about again and looked to be gathering her nerve. After another short pause, she took a deep breath. She looked in the direction of Komachi, who seemed to be paying us no mind, then she looked at me. Her eyes filled with a conviction I hadn't seen before in Isshiki, and thereafter she spoke.

"It's what I told you on the way back from Destinyland, back when I was a first year."

 _I'm starting to want something genuine too._

Immediately I could hear her voice resonate deep within my innermost thoughts, just as it did then. And soon it was all I could hear.

My entire face began flaring red, and with nowhere to turn I put my face into my hands to hide my shame.

Likely satisfied with my response, I could hear Isshiki rise from the couch and strut over to where I was sitting, where she reached out and took both my hands off my face, and into her own where I could feel the warmth of her fingers reach mine.

"Not just that though. Senpai, do you remember that other thing that I told you during high school. It was during my second year, and only me, you, Yui-senpai and Yukinoshita-senpai know about it, if that helps at all."

Immediately realizing what she meant, my eyes widened and the blush that commanded my face grew to an even deeper shade.

"So please…"

In the moment I grew conscious of Komachi, and my eyes flew over to the kitchen to find her. I saw nothing more than her back working away at the stove as she hummed pleasantly, without a care in the world. I felt my skin begin to feel damp and unpleasant with a faint sweat. Nervously, my eyes moved back to Isshiki's, where her eyes silently scolded mine for ever looking away, as she finally finished, with her moist pupils beaming into mine and a deep blush spread across her face.

"Please take it seriously this time, okay?"

With no words on hand, I could do nothing but avert my eyes to where Komachi was and wait for the moment to pass, even though I knew Isshiki could see my reaction for all it was worth.

She continued to lay her eyes upon me before smiling, releasing my hands, and standing upright. She turned around and began to walk towards the kitchen, with a strut in her step and big stretch of her arms and back.

"Phew, I haven't felt this relieved since I took care of my last duty as Student Council President. Sorry about that, Komachi-chan. I just had to get a couple of things sorted out with Senpai while I had the chance. Need any help?"

"Don't worry about it, I know how hard it is to get my onii-chan to sit still for a moment before he goes off and hides himself in a cave somewhere. Also dinner's been ready for a while now. I've just been over here keeping it warm, so we can eat whenever."

"What am I, a bat? That's got to be at least a little bit of an exaggeration, right?"

As soon as I said that, Isshiki turned back to face me, and for the third time today, looked at me like I was an idiot. _That's some turnaround in attitude from earlier, Irohasu. And seriously, quit doing that. At this point I almost feel like you're trying to make up for lost time or something._

"Huuuhhh? Senpai, I've been friends with Komachi-chan for a while now, and how many times do you think I've seen you since high school?"

"T-That's…"

It's not like I should be going out of my way to meet with my sister's friends whenever I come home, right? Even if I'm, err, perhaps a bit more than acquainted with them already. Then again, I suppose I also should not be going out of my way just to not meet them, but…

For the sake of my sanity, let's please just say that there were various circumstances present and let me off the hook.

"Well, maybe we can leave Onii-chan's many bad habits for another time. For now, let's just eat already. Like really, you two were taking forever."

"Sheeeesh Komachi-chan, I said I was sorry didn't I?"

Nice save, Komachi. I'll just ignore that part about my habits.

Although with the way things were going for me on this break, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going to have to answer to a whole lot of people that I never planned on even seeing again sooner or later, including Isshiki.

And finally, Komachi-chan…

I knew you were listening the whole time, but couldn't you have at least pretended that you didn't hear any of that?

3-2

After dinner, Isshiki hung around for a bit before saying her goodbyes with Komachi. Seeing as how we're all on summer break, they undoubtedly made more plans to meet up sometime soon. Naturally, this would spell more danger for me in due time. Before then, I resolved to determine what exactly it was that all of this meant.

I was in my room, and it had been a few hours since Isshiki had left. Unable to sleep, I was staring at my ceiling, digesting the long day that had unexpectedly unfolded before me and figuring out where all of those pieces fit inside of my mind. With that, I could finally get a picture of what it was I should be seeing, and what it was I should be doing.

My initial impressions were naturally that of my past self.

The past self that believed that these sorts of heated, awkward moments that I experienced today. The past self that believed that these sorts of teenage, rom-com developments.

They were the kind of things that I would roll around in my bed, thinking about over and over again for days on end when I was in middle school.

They were the kind of things that I denounced for everything that they were worth when I was in high school. They were the kind of things that I swore to stand against. That I swore to stand above.

Now, I was barely about to be a couple of years beyond being an official "teenager", and I stood someplace between denouncement and over contemplation to the point of suffering.

But rather than suffer, my current self could only account for those beliefs and wonder.

What was it that I was after all this time?

I never wanted something as simple as a friend or as cheap as a teenage romance. I didn't need to indulge myself in the illusion that someone could understand or desire me. I convinced myself that I stood above that necessity. I convinced myself that the convictions I held and the actions that I took were all for my own sake and existence, and no one else's.

But even then, I wanted something that could reach. I wanted something that wouldn't break. In the face of whatever that was, nothing else mattered.

With that belief, I was relentless in tossing aside the things that didn't comply. Or the things that I didn't want to comply.

Try as I did, I couldn't break the ties that bound me to those people, Totsuka Saika and Yuigahama Yui.

With all of what amounted to nothing more than estranged social foreplay, I couldn't stop Isshiki Iroha, both then and now.

And with my great weakness, I couldn't deserve a pure, authentic person like Shiromeguri Meguri.

But it was with all of those things that I could now understand what it was that Yukinoshita Haruno sought to tell me.

The actions that I took for my sake, and mine alone. They were nothing but mere illusions themselves. Mirages of a pursuit for authenticity. Mirages of a belief in my own self-righteous superficiality.

So what was it that I was after all this time?

I knew it very well. And I knew that it was as Haruno-san said.

I couldn't reach it with the way that I was then, and with the way that I am now.

And to reach that place, I also knew that I couldn't deny the pieces that remained from my past self. Upon the truths that I've touched and the lies that I'd believed was a self that had made me who I was today.

I was a person that never allowed anything to reach them. I would sooner plug my ears and recite my own rhetoric.

I was a person that never allowed anything to break. I would sooner break it myself.

Even so, Isshiki Iroha would try to reach me.

Even so, Yuigahama Yui would not let it break.

It was those simple truths that I would divert myself from time and again.

To reach the place that eludes me was to allow myself to realize those simple truths, and to do so with the culmination of the incarnations of myself that had driven me to this point.

To live my life in the present as I said I would was to take that culmination and not allow it to drag me along like a dog to its leash, but to carry it as reminder that I was Hikigaya Hachiman.

It was as Hikigaya Hachiman that I realized what it was that I needed to do.

And it was as Hikigaya Hachiman that I resolved to do it.

Somehow, my eyes suddenly began to grow heavy. It was as if my body had released all of its tension, and it felt like finally I would be able to rest.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard my phone go off loudly on the nightstand next to my bed. _Ugh, seriously? There's no way I'm picking up right now. Try a voicemail, buddy._

Immediately however, a different thought shoved its way to the forefront of my mind. _Wait, what if it's Totsuka calling to tell me something he forgot to say earlier?_

...Well, it couldn't hurt to check, right?

As I reached out to pick up my phone and bring it to my face, I remembered the words that Yuigahama had left me with. Oh yeah, I guess she did say that she'd come into contact with me pretty soon, and she definitely wasn't the type to be able to wait for something.

When I looked to see if my wagers were correct, I saw an unknown number. Yup, definitely not picking that up.

Strangely enough, however, when I put the phone back down on my nightstand, I couldn't let it go.

Namely, because I could swear that I'd seen that number somewhere before, but where?

My first thought was a college acquaintance. It was what made the most sense, but I was drawing a blank on if that ever even happened. And if that were to be the case, it wouldn't hurt to pick it up, right?

Every practiced instinct in my body questioned why it was that I was feeling the way that I was, but despite that I felt more compelled than ever to answer.

On what must've been the last possible ring, I decided to take the call.

"...Hello? Hikigaya Hachiman speaking."

"Ah, so you did pick up. Great, I was really gonna be at a loss if you didn't."

"You…"

 **A/N: Well, that's it for Chapter 3. Sorry to end it like that, but I like having a proper lead into the next chapter, and the next subplot would be too substantial to include it in this one. So, couple of other things to note here. Three chapters in, it looks like I update at a pace of about a chapter per month. I have a bit more time with the holidays on hand so I'll try to quicken that pace, but for the moment I'll treat one per month as a bare minimum baseline (meaning I'll try to have Chapter 4 up by the end of January at the absolute latest). It really is quite a bit of fun to write about these characters. Hopefully I can keep it up. Huge thanks for all of the support I've gotten. Some of you have offered some really high praise and/or thoughtful insight for what little I've put down, and quite frankly I'm flattered, thankful, and hopeful that I will continue to provide a nice experience for you the readers, and me the writer. With all that being said, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to anyone celebrating! R & R if you wish, otherwise until next time,**

 **-Lyzen**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So...yeah...pretty late update. More on that at the bottom. For now, a quick refresher since I know it's been a while. Last time, Hikigaya was dealing with the visiting Isshiki. Later that day, he received a mysterious phone call, and that's where we find ourselves now...and for the past few months…**

 ***Ahem***

 **Here's Chapter 4!**

Chapter 4: To no one's surprise, Hikigaya Komachi feels quite relieved.

4-1

"You…"

The voice on the other end was charming, and gave off a pleasant vibe. It was noticeably exasperated, and yet had a tone that insisted upon its genuine gratitude.

It didn't take long for my mind to put a face to who this voice must have belonged to. With the few words I heard, I recognized a voice that exuded an aura unreachable by most, meaning it could only belong to a select handful of people I'd ever met in my life. It was one of confidence, sincerity, and comfort.

Who else could it be then, besides the refreshing, agreeable, man of the year himself, Hayama Hayato?

Though, that's really just the nice way for me to say that I'd recognize this voice that never ceased to piss me off anywhere.

So as much as I'm sure he knows all of that, he's still found it in himself to give me a call for who knows what reason. Typical.

"How the hell do you have my number?"

Did I have a target on my back with all of my contact information when I came back into town, or what? How is everyone getting a hold of me all of a sudden?

"Ah, well, it's no surprise that you've forgotten. It's been a while after all. It was back when I asked you to accompany me on that double date during our second year, and then...well I'm sure I don't need to say any more than that. Though I think you knew one of them previously, if that helps jog your memory at all."

Ah, I guess that answers that then. Yeah, come to think of it, such an unpleasant memory does somehow sound vaguely familiar.

And by that of course, I mean that I totally remember. For whatever reason, people only tend to remember their worst experiences in complete detail rather than their best ones. Or rather, I still don't know what constitutes a "best" memory.

So, I guess that means that I would have to have a pretty decent recollection of most of my life then, huh.

…Heh, sounds like something that Yukinoshita would say and that I would be unable to disagree with.

As if it was habitual, I found my mind following the routine of my past self, and in that moment it dawned on me that I wasn't wrong about how I felt at any given point. More than anything, by now it all just felt very exaggerated.

In truth, however bad something was or is really doesn't matter. I don't think it has anything to do with me suddenly being optimistic, denying my past, or even something as grandiose as convincing myself to forget it all and only consider the present either.

Or, y'know what, maybe that it is what it was. Because presently, the way I'm feeling right now…

I just don't want to talk to this guy.

"...Why the hell are you calling me?"

In the first place, I ordinarily wouldn't have even bothered with trivialities such as the how and the why when it came to something like this. I'd have hung up and not bothered myself with whatever it was that Hayama needed from me. I mean I had his number deleted and picked up on a whim to start with, so that alone probably says enough about where I want this conversation to go. That's the logical conclusion to come to, given that anytime I involved myself with him it ended up being more trouble than it was worth, which would be what I would say if I were to understate it as much as I possibly could.

Because seriously, now more than ever can I safely say that those sorts of futile actions to protect a sanctity founded entirely on self-gratification didn't amount to anything worthwhile.

But one way or another, Hayama Hayato gave up on that path regardless of anything else. Even if I didn't know the particulars, from where I was standing it seemed like he found his answer in the same way that I had found mine.

I briefly reminisced about the conversation I had earlier with Isshiki about the subject, and it made me question all the more about what it was that Hayama would want with me. Due to my hesitation, Hayama took the opportunity to answer the question I posed without thinking.

"I'll make it as quick as I can, believe me I wouldn't want to bother you anymore than I already have."

"I'm always bothered. Anyways as long as I don't have to do anything, it's fine. What do you need?"

This guy always irritated me with the way he put things. If it bugs you that much to bother me, why do it? Better yet, why go to the trouble of even telling me that? Was it some sort of formality that I was unaware of when asking for a favor?

If it was, it'd make sense why I never learned it, seeing as how I was a loner who could never rely on others, even if I wanted to. As for whether or not I wanted to, well, looking back like I've been doing so much these past few days, I guess I really am happy with the way at least some things had turned out.

Whatever the case, as long as he was just asking me a question and not making me do anything as worthless as my past errands have been, I could at least do that much. That too, was something I'd learned from my past experiences. Or so I say, but hearing out stuff I didn't want any part of was, by now, just par for the course for me. If old habits die hard, mine must be immortal. It was like no other option existed, so I waited for Hayama to make the next move.

"...You ran into Haruno earlier today, didn't you?"

"Yeah I guess I did. What about it?"

Ah, so that's what this is about. No surprise that that occurrence wasn't a coincidence considering the fact that it's Haruno-san we're talking about, but that doesn't make me any less terrified as to how she actually does it. It's awfully impatient of him to phone me up not too long after it happened also, so if I put two and two together here, I think I can see what he's getting at.

But as for that has to do with anything, if it has to do with Hayama, it can't mean anything good.

"Really now, it's so like Haruno to just do whatever she wants and then leave the rest to me..."

His voice trailed off at the end as if regretting something. See, I'm assuming you needed to ask me and me specifically about something based on what I'm hearing here, but if you left it up to Haruno-san you really can't complain about the end result, now can you?

"You see, I asked her to come into contact with you to ask you about something. I figured it was a job better suited for her since I didn't think you'd have wanted to talk to me, but in the end I suppose I should've known better…"

Eh, you were right about that at least. As scary as she is, at least she's nice to look at. Maybe it's not a fair comparison since I saw her in person and I'm talking to you over the phone, but whatever. I don't need this kind of negativity in my life.

Although as nice as his preface was, it was nothing that I couldn't infer. More importantly, he was only now realizing that he was essentially wasting everybody's time by not doing this himself. And that's great and all, but it's also really irritating because he's pretty much insinuating that dealing with me is some sort of chore.

Which I mean hey, he's not wrong. But my patience for this phone call was on the shorter side of things to start with, so cut to the chase or don't, because as it turns out you irritate me even more than I remembered.

"...So what do you need?"

"Yeah, sorry, I'll get to the point. Have you seen Yukinoshita-san?"

I see. If it had to be about anything, then yeah that had to be the likely outcome. It had to be about her. I'm not sure why he'd be so hesitant about it though, seeing as how the answer should be obvious.

"...No I haven't. And why would you ask me for something like that? Shouldn't you be asking Yuigahama?"

"Of course, and I did. But unfortunately if Yui had seen Yukinoshita-san and she told her to not say anything about it, whose side do you think Yui would take?"

As expected, Hayama Hayato covered all his bases. I guess I was the one not thinking about the obvious here. Surely Hayama knew about the state of the Service Club by the end of our third year. And while that should've told him everything he needed to know about me and Yukinoshita, by no means should he have expected Yuigahama to do or say anything that might be detrimental to Yukinoshita. In fact, it had to be quite the opposite.

"While that's true, why would something like that be necessary in the first place?"

Still, Hayama had yet to ask me anything of substance. A simple 'have you seen me?' didn't tell me anything, and while it wasn't any of my business, it annoyed me for him to have this giant preface about how sorry he was for bothering me while not actually telling me anything.

Seriously, why was I even talking to this guy?

"The details don't particularly matter. The important thing is that she's seriously misunderstanding something, and we need to get her to come back before she makes things complicated."

Ah...this gives me yet another strange feeling of déjà vu. What Hayama won't tell me, he won't tell me. It reminded me of my second year when I needed to find out which course he was going to be taking in our third year. In that instance, I needed to know for Miura's sake.

So for whose sake was it, that I would want to know this time?

Truthfully, that wasn't a question that needed answering.

The fact is, I didn't need to know, so I wouldn't.

It was presumptuous of me to assume, but it was obvious that it had something to do with her family, which made it even less of my business to know about it. Yet I couldn't deny a part of me wanted to know, and I hated it.

In fact, I was beginning to hate all of these strange feelings of déjà vu that I'd been feeling the past couple of days.

"I see. Well if she's anything like how I remember her, Yuigahama and I are on the short list of contacts for you to figure out where she is, right?"

"...Yeah."

I managed to keep the conversation going despite feeling myself grow more and more unpleasant by the second. It made sense that she was similar in that regard to the time that I knew her. That is, that she kept a short list of contacts. By stating the obvious, I was able to give myself a bit more time to think about my next response.

In that time, I made my decision. Whatever Hayama's trying to tell me or withhold from me at this point didn't matter. Whatever it was that he's insisting is a misunderstanding on Yukinoshita's part, whatever it was that she was going to make complicated, it really didn't have anything to do with me.

Despite anything else I thought about the matter, that was all there was to it. Furthermore, I have more than enough to deal with as it is. I had things I'd resolved to not put off any longer.

There was a truth that I needed to find somewhere.

With that in mind, I decided to end my conversation with Hayama, as completely and as conclusively as possible.

"Then you're out of luck. I haven't seen her since high school, and unless you really want me to tell you the last place I saw her, that's probably not going to be very helpful. I also can't tell you anything about whether Yuigahama is withholding information or not, because there's no way I'd know something like that at this point."

"...Yeah, I figured."

Hayama's voice coming from the other end of the phone came out in a rather peculiar tone, coming from him. It was one that reeked of neither belief nor disbelief. It was simply one that responded, as if listening only to the expected.

"Don't feel too bad. You had a dead-end lead and you knew it. Though to be fair, even if I did know, I still definitely wouldn't tell you anything."

"...Yeah...I figured..."

With that, I cleansed myself of the situation. As I prepared to say my goodbyes for formality's sake, Hayama began speaking once again.

"Hey, one more thing..."

I was impatient, disinterested, and unusually frustrated. But somehow, I found myself continuing to listen intently as he spoke.

"I know you don't have any reason to believe me, but I'll tell you anyways."

He made a soft exhale as if reminding himself of something, and took a moment to gather his thoughts, before continuing.

"I meant what I said. It's all just Yukinoshita-san's misunderstanding. It would really be in her best interest to resolve this now that it can't be put off any longer."

There was another pause. I couldn't tell if he wanted me to respond in any way to what seemed like just a reminder of what he had said earlier, but I waited anyways with the anticipation that he hadn't said everything that he had wanted to.

"I learned that much myself."

As he concluded his thought, his voice struck a chord that eerily felt like it could've come from me, and for that my frustration only grew.

I felt the urge to probe him further, perhaps to search for my own answers. Unable to resist that urge, I asked him.

"...It's not like I know the context of what you're talking about though. Even if she were to somehow hear that from me, what makes you think it'd mean anything?"

"It's fine. If you see her, just let her know I said that for me, alright? It'll mean something coming from you, I'm almost certain of it."

Unsatisfied with that response, I sought for him to elaborate.

"Almost certain? What the hell does that mean?"

"Almost certain means almost certain. Besides it's not like you have anything to lose by just doing that much, right?"

Such a response was typical from Hayama Hayato. For someone who spent his entire life standing in the center of every room he ever entered, he sure had a way of keeping people at arm's length. That was something that I didn't realize until much later from when I thought I knew him. He had his own methods of understanding certain things, and he also had his own methods of dealing with them.

There was another pause as I continued to think, and in that time, Hayama said one last thing.

"Thanks for this, Hikigaya-kun."

In the end, Hayama was the one who hung up. That little bit frustrated me. More than that, the things that he had tried to tell me, both then and now, had ways of amplifying that frustration.

When I tried to learn what course he would be taking for our third year of high school. When he was unable to support Kakeru Tobe in his confession. When he rejected Isshiki Iroha.

There were subtleties that I knew, but couldn't understand. I made my own conclusions from it all and chose my own path. And now I couldn't help but feel like while I couldn't disagree more with the likes of someone like Hayama Hayato, perhaps there was something there that I'd overlooked.

As I looked into the light that eventually disappeared from my phone, I thought of just one more thing before inevitably succumbing to my fatigue.

He really knows how to say the most infuriating thank yous that I've ever received in my life.

4-2

They say that your dreams tend to be based off of the last thing that you were thinking about before you fell asleep. I've never looked into whether or not that was true, but from time to time I find myself believing in it. I'm not sure if I could call it something like confirmation bias, but sure enough, last night I had another dream about the Service Club.

On one hand, it could've been worse. I could've dreamed about Hayama.

As I dispelled that disturbing thought from my head with small chants of Totsuka, I reminded myself of how unusual it all was.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that it was strange for me to have those sorts of dreams every now and then. In fact, whenever I wasn't occupied or had something else on hand to worry about, I'd find myself back at that table in that room probably more often than I'd like to admit.

On the other hand, for it to happen two nights in a row was neither here nor there in what I presumed to be normal by my standards.

Perhaps it was to be expected with how things have been recently. It's been lively to be sure, but rather than having something else on hand to occupy myself with, the things that have been keeping me busy are exactly what I'd been trying to distract myself from.

There was a time during my third year of high school where I found myself falling in this exact same pattern, and sure enough, I found myself here yet again.

I haven't been home for very long, and in just a day all these thoughts that prodded me one at a time have culminated into a cluster of things that I found myself now needing to deal with.

Ah, so this is what adulthood is like, huh? It's everything I ever imagined it would be. Komachi...it's too late for me now, but you...you should save yourself!

Though honestly, I knew better than anyone that that wasn't the case. I don't think I've had a single rational or worthwhile worry in my life. In the face of these silly qualms, I felt just like a child.

It was for that reason, Hikigaya Hachiman needed to learn. Those were the words told to me by the great and knowledgeable master of adulthood (30+!) herself, Hiratsuka-sensei.

So I could get to those actual worries that adults have, right?

Hooray~

I started my day with a typical sarcastic and useless monologue as I finished up my standard morning routine, and stepped out of the restroom and towards the kitchen.

When I got there, I was greeted by Komachi who was relaxing on the couch while watching TV in the nearby living room.

"Took you long enough to get up, Onii-chan. I made too much for myself and ended up with leftovers, so if you're fine with reheating, what's left of it should be around there somewhere."

I looked over and sure enough, I saw some eggs, chopped vegetables, and rice ready and waiting to be eaten.

"Thanks."

I prepared a plate and served myself before moving to the table to eat.

"Err, you're not gonna like, try to reheat it or something?"

"When you're late for a lecture, you find yourself eating leftovers more often than you might think. And when you're really late for a lecture, you find yourself eating cold leftovers more often than you might think as well. It's really not so bad once you get used to it."

Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever told Komachi much about my life at the university. In fact, that's probably the most she's heard about it since whenever she asks, I usually just tell her that it's exactly how she'd expect it to be. And judging from what I just said…that likely still holds up, but yeah definitely not a good look. Knowing this, Komachi let out a sigh.

"How about you just try to not be late then? Also, you need to have made something to eat for there to be leftovers in the first place, which would also mean that you'd have needed to buy the proper ingredients to do so. And quite frankly…"

I looked over to Komachi, who was taking some sort of thinking posture as if contemplating the matter further.

Alright, I already know you've got something really mean to say and are just trying to be considerate by finding the nicest way to say it, but you don't need to go that far. I'm trying to visualize it myself, and I totally see where you're coming from. Unfortunately my thoughts didn't seem to reach her, as she continued.

"You've probably just had like MAX coffee and instant noodles every morning for the last three years. On top of that, you're so hopeless that you probably don't even leave enough time to wait the three minutes for the noodles to cook. So instead you just make them the night before, and as a result need to eat it cold the morning after when you're running late. Seriously, if you're going to go that far, shouldn't you at least have the decency to eat it while it's hot?"

"That's…a bit harsh, isn't it?"

That was like six straight assumptions or something, and she was totally reaching for about half of them. Against all odds, this girl continues raising the bar on how hopeless she thinks I am. Somehow I'm almost finding it endearing at this point, since she's my sister. You're not far off about me having MAX coffee every morning so I'll give you that, but I'm sorry. Everything else is just too pathetic, even for me.

In reality, I have a surprisingly healthy diet with its only real flaw being my high intake of MAX coffee. But like, everyone has their vices, right? C'mon, leave that part alone. Although, it is indeed true that my unusually stable diet is largely not a result of my own efforts…

It's been like that for a while now hasn't it? To my own surprise, I let out a sigh.

"It's not like she'd ever let me eat like that anyways…"

In my morning sluggishness, I began thinking out loud and said something really dangerous in front of Komachi. It was the sort of confidential information about the private life of Hikigaya Hachiman that simply could not reach the ears of anyone uninvolved, especially Komachi. And with everything that's been going on recently, there was an even bigger reason as to why I couldn't slip up so casually this late in the game.

"Huh?"

Unfortunately my sister was the type of meddlesome little sister that would easily pick up on such a careless slip of the tongue, and with her interest piqued, she had turned her body towards me and began staring me down.

Without any words, she bore a hole into me as I resumed eating. I didn't meet her gaze for a few moments, hoping that she'd grow impatient and give up.

Which yeah, that's never actually worked before. But you never know until you try, right?

Reluctantly, I swallowed my food down with a lump, took a deep breath, and prepared myself to verbally backstep as much as I could.

"I mean, there's no way Mom would ever let me eat junk like that with how often she checks up on me. I've never been the best at lying to her either, so…y'know."

"Well you're right about one thing. You've definitely never been very good at lying."

Komachi sighed before exaggerating her body movements as she stretched out on the sofa even more.

"Look, you don't have to lie. It just makes it look much less innocent than it would've been otherwise."

"I-It's not like I'm lying or anything, though…"

What kind of crappy tsundere response was that?! I felt myself mentally facepalm as I wondered how Komachi would respond.

To my surprise, rather than chiding me about my response, she took a more stoic expression and responded to me blankly.

"You don't need to worry about it. I'm not going to force anything out of you, and I'm not going to be making any assumptions or meddle in anything that I shouldn't either. I remember all too well that Onii-chan doesn't rely on others until it's his very last option. Whatever it is, I'm sure you can figure it out for yourself."

With that, Komachi turned back on her side and resumed what she was doing without so much as putting up a fight, the tone in her voice indicative of nothing more than what she said.

And with that the conversation came to a sudden halt. It all happened so quickly I didn't even have time to feel relieved about it. What I had said was indeed the truth, but it didn't take a brain surgeon to realize that that wasn't what I was referring to. If I were her, I wouldn't have believed me either. As I let the moment sink in, I reflected on Komachi's last words on the matter and wondered what it was she was talking about.

As I caught her meaning, I felt a pang of guilt throb in my chest as I remembered that time during my second year of high school. It was one of the many instances where there was certainly a raised level of tension surrounding the Service Club, a feeling I grew more and more accustomed to as time went on. In that instance I rejected whatever assistance Komachi had tried to offer me until the very last moment. And soon I also found myself forced into relying on the other members of the Service Club for what was, fittingly enough, an issue surrounding Isshiki Iroha that I just couldn't handle on my own.

And then…

I remembered the words I nearly choked on in that sun-bathed room, where time had stopped and I made it clear, most of all to myself, that I had something that I wanted. Since that time I had been stuck in the same cycle, never relying on anybody until the moment I realized that I didn't have an answer.

Always a non-solution. Always an answer that never addressed the question.

Wrong as always, and always expected.

Defeated and dejected, I noticed that I hadn't been eating for a while now, and I turned my attention back to Komachi.

"Hey…"

My voice came out a lot weaker than I had intended, and in response Komachi gave me a quick glance, signaling to me that I had about half of her attention.

"I really wasn't lying, Mom definitely wouldn't let me eat like that, y'know…"

"Yeah, yeah."

Waving me off, Komachi was just about ready to ignore me altogether, but regardless of that I resolved to continue.

"But…"

Realizing that I had more to say, Komachi perched up as if encouraging me to continue.

"But?"

"But maybe that wasn't what I was referring to. Not entirely, anyways. As for what it was, well…"

At this stage, I still couldn't find it in myself to convey to Komachi what was surely my greatest failings and weaknesses, even if there was no doubt in my mind that she already knew.

"Let's just say that it's all been more of the same, I guess. In regards to Isshiki, that is. Both here, and there… even if it's not Isshiki…it's all just been more of the same…"

The words I used were very vague, and almost had no meaning as a result. But they were all I could muster, and it was my hope that they were all Komachi needed.

"Hoh…so that's what it was. I see. That's good then."

"…Huh?"

What the hell do you mean that's good?! Did you become some sort of sadist when Onii-chan wasn't looking?! I'm really struggling out here, y'know! I don't even know if you actually caught my drift or not, but either way in what world is that the appropriate response?!

"I was kinda worried, to be honest."

Komachi turned herself completely away from the TV and was now looking at me head on from the sofa with her feet crossed beside her, as I now had her full attention.

"Onii-chan has been all stone-faced, dead-eyed, and contemplative since he got here, so I thought it might've been something serious. I mean, there's no way you'd be like that if it was just about Iroha-senpai."

Whoa, uh…Ouch. That's your friend you're talking about there. She IS your friend, right? Komachi?

And you say that as if my matters aren't serious, so that's also kind of mean.

I won't even acknowledge that dead-eyed comment, but still. Finding it to be funny due to its own redundancy, I deadpanned the same quip I said earlier.

"...That's a bit harsh, isn't it?"

"Mmm, not really. It doesn't particularly matter which girl it is since we're talking about Onii-chan here. It's got more to do with you than anything else."

Wow, that might be the nicest way anyone's ever told me that I'm the problem. My elementary school classmates could learn a thing or two from you.

"If it's like that though, I can't say I'm surprised. In fact, it's even all starting to make sense to me now."

"Well, I'm glad you understand then."

"Hey hey, I don't mean it like that. What I mean is, if you've been giving it that much thought, then that's good! Because chances are you know WHAT you need to do, you just don't know HOW to do it!"

"…Something like that, yeah."

"Though knowing Onii-chan, you also probably don't know exactly what it is that you want, so as a result it's only furthering your hesitation in taking the first step."

"…Ugh."

Komachi had stopped paying attention to the TV altogether now, and I'm starting to have a hard time believing that she was ever watching in the first place. This sneaky little devil has totally been thinking about this the whole time, just waiting to get her shots in.

Komachi, you're not a psychology major (I think), so please, stay out of Onii-chan's head.

"B-But you don't need to worry about that at this point! Err, well, you do and you don't. Most people would've lost their chance by now, but Onii-chan's kind of a special case so…"

Komachi was now fumbling with the words that she totally had mustered up and waiting to hit me with. I see, so even you can't make heads or tails of this situation, eh?

Also it's basically implied that I'm a special case at this point, so do me a favor and don't say what doesn't need to be said just to get another jab at me. You've gotten more than enough of those, and Onii-chan's armor is in the repair shop.

"Although, now that I think about it, that probably has more to do with Iroha-senpai and this mystery woman, so maybe I spoke too soon in that regard."

Wait, wait, mystery woman? I won't bring it up for fear of what you might drag out of me, so I'll let you think what you want for the time being. But like, aren't you getting a bit ahead of yourself?

Actually, can we just end this conversation already? Talking with my little sister about this sort of thing isn't exactly on my list of things to do before I die.

Taking notice of my dilemma, Komachi took the hint and signaled to me that she was moving on.

"A-Anyways, you seem to realize your position pretty well, and I'm happy you decided to talk to me about it. Though I call it that, but honestly that was pretty pathetic. If I wasn't your sister, there's no way I would've known where to start with that train wreck of an explanation."

Okay but you totally still did though, so it's kind of a moot point, right?

Komachi seemed to have more on her mind that she wanted to say. Affirming this, she looked at me intently for a moment with an expression that told me to wait for what she had to say next.

"Anywho...not necessarily as your little sister, but as a girl, the best I can tell you is this..."

Komachi was still on the couch, with her full attention being on our conversation for a while now. She again thought about what to say next in a contemplative pose, before speaking to me in a tone that felt very familiar.

"Where there are winners, there are also losers. A world where no one gets hurt doesn't exist, if you get what I'm saying."

As soon as Komachi loosened the atmosphere, she immediately tightened it up again.

I wondered for a moment what it was that would cause my little sister to speak in such a way.

Perhaps I could've felt it as it happened gradually if things had been different, but it was what it was, and as a result I found myself feeling out of touch. I thought about what a cute girl Komachi was, and the company she kept…She'd never said a word to me about her own troubles, not like she would anyways, but…

My mind began reaching areas I'd never been to before. Soon, my siscon reflex triggered and I snapped back to reality.

No, it wasn't anything I could think on now. Rather, I focused instead on the words she had offered me, and how it resonated with everything I could think of. And that was…

That to every query was this same underlying message. The simple fact to which, I had the same response every time.

"...I...can't accept that kind of world."

And with it, the same bumbling answer. Those words came out almost as a laugh as I suddenly found this all to be so strangely amusing. With how much I'd been going back and forth about it, for me to look at it now for what it was felt surreal. And to hear it from my own sister, no less.

I pondered when it was, exactly, that things had become like this…

If only for an instant, because with hardly any hesitation, Komachi responded as if expecting those words.

"Then say something about it. But say it with words that actually mean something, and to the people that need to hear it. Not to me, and not with any of your Onii-chan dribble drabble mumbo jumbo."

After seeing my initial response, she lightened up a little and finished her remark with a smile. Whatever it was she was trying to tell me, it felt like she had been trying for a very long time. She gave the impression that she was ready to be as serious as it took also, so for things to have happened like this, well, it all just felt wrong enough…

That it couldn't have worked for anyone else.

I finally reached my breaking point, and let out a small fit of twisted chuckles. Komachi seemed slightly put off by how strange it must've looked, and puffed out a couple awkward laughs at my reaction. Surely she couldn't know everything that had just gone on through my head, so she asked.

"What's so funny?"

I composed myself a little and let out a relieved sigh.

"It's nothing. I just feel like I've rubbed off on you somehow, which is weird seeing as how I wasn't even here."

"Urgh, typical Onii-chan, mistakenly taking credit for only the strangest things. How gross."

Komachi scrunched up her face and looked at me like I was trash. I'm sure she was doing it ironically (at least I hope), but I could sort of see where she was coming from, for me to say something like that so suddenly.

"...Nevermind. And I'm not taking credit for anything. It's just like, Komachi feels so different yet still exactly the same in how cute and little sister-like she is, the way she tries to understand her big brother. Really though, I get what you were trying to go for and everything, but I could've sworn that you actually were just trying to scold me back there."

My tone and even my choice of words became a bit too doting before I knew it. What's this? Have I fully reverted to my old siscon ways?

Although if that was true, it was very apparent that Komachi wasn't having any of it. Still on the couch, she sighed and turned away from me and apparently ignored my remark altogether. H-Hey, that's still kinda rude, y'know…

She crossed her legs and reached over to grab the TV remote from the nearby table between the couch she was sitting on, and the TV. She began speaking while facing away from me, and her body language told me that she was making her closing remarks.

"Riiiiight. Well anyways, Onii-chan. It really is all up to you, but whatever happens, just know that Komachi will always be here for you. Whoa whoa whoa! Stop the presses! I think that's a Komachi points multiplier!"

Yep, it's as I said. However different she's become and whatever things I might have missed while I was gone, this part about her still hadn't changed at all.

I leaned back in my chair and looked up, reminiscing on my encounter with Totsuka and Yuigahama from yesterday. I wonder if that held true for everybody else, as well…

Maybe not. Though I realized it was pointless to think about either way.

However, there was one thing Komachi was getting ahead of herself about, and I just couldn't let it slide this time.

"I wouldn't go that far quite yet if I were you. After all, I may be trying to do things a bit differently than how I did them back then, but it IS still me we're talking about, and if there's one thing I'm good at, it's finding the worst possible way to do things."

"Eh? Seriously? What kind of cheap, hinedere...ugh,what a troublesome onii-chan, honestly."

"Yep, I'm the most troublesome guy there is.

Not one thing was said clearly, but the message got across. And truthfully, with every fiber of my being, I was feeling a lot better about it all. I'd been overthinking it up to this point, but for better or for worse, whatever happens, happens. I'm sure I'll be torturing myself in the moment and contradicting myself every step of the way, but for now I was home, and for the first time since I'd gotten here, nothing else mattered. And for that I felt somehow, inexplicably relieved.

"Thanks, Komachi."

"You're welcome. Though you know, it seems like Komachi is always the one helping Onii-chan, and I'm starting to wonder who's actually the younger sibling here."

N-Now wait just a second, that has nothing to do with something as trivial as being older or younger, right? It has to do more with like, competency or something. And err, regarding that…

"W-Well, as far as matters regarding girls are concerned, I'm a bit-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know you're even more useless than usual when it comes to that stuff. That's why I don't need to talk to you about it, since you can help me in other ways."

Oh? I briefly entertained the thought earlier, but this is the first I'm hearing about it directly from her. Somewhat interested in what she was getting at, I pressed her for more.

"And how's that?"

"Oh just little things, here and there. But if you're talking about the here and now, I know one good way you can help me."

No, um, I was actually talking about your experiences in relation to my own, or yeah, something along those lines. Don't tell me I was swindled into doing something absurd yet again?!

Komachi leaned back in her seat, still with her legs crossed, with an aura that suddenly reeked of…cockiness?

"Heck if I wanted to be any cheekier about it I'd even call it repaying me. I do seem to have quite the stockpiled amount of Komachi points, after all."

Wait, I haven't even been home for most of the past couple of years, so how in the world could you possibly have some points stockpiled? Are they valid until spent or something? And if so, I definitely don't remember signing off on any kind of rewards catalog. Little sister services tend to be free of charge anyways.

"Damn, I knew I should've taken that course on Imouto Economics."

My remark may be sarcastic, but my motive sure isn't. This is the sort of hard-hitting information the people want. Like actually though, I don't need any classes on how to be a corporate slave and mindlessly do whatever I'm told to do. I think my life up until recently is enough of a resume to assert those qualifications.

Sigh…

If only universities taught the things we actually need to know in our adult lives. Or high school for that matter. But I suppose that's another story altogether.

"So what you can do for me is…"

As expected, I could've said anything and she'd still have ignored me. If it's Komachi we're talking about, this level of single-minded behavior could only mean one thing.

"You can find Komachi an official older sister in waiting. Honestly it's already felt like I've had several with the way things have gone at certain points, but I kind of want to upgrade the package, so to speak."

And there it is.

"So in the end it really was all about that…"

I let out an exasperated sigh. Komachi laughed and began waving her hands back and forth like she just told the punchline to a joke.

"Nah, I'm just kidding.~ This has never even been about me, y'know. As far as I'm concerned, whatever happens that ends up being good for me is just a bonus. An optional bonus that doesn't need to happen if that's the way Onii-chan wants it. Me and my points can wait, but this can't. So just do whatever you can, however you can, and get a little peace of mind, alright?"

She had most likely prefaced it like that just to get a rise out of me, but in the end her intentions did indeed ring clear. Still, there was something to be said about the way she decided to put it.

"...You and your points?"

Komachi turned her head back towards me with an irritated expression. I made the same motion she had made just moments ago and brushed it off to say I was joking.

"Alright alright, I think I can manage. Though I don't want to hear any complaints if things don't go the way you want them to. I'm notorious in some circles for finding answers that don't satisfy anybody."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Oh, I almost forgot. One last thing."

She pointed one finger upwards and shot me a wink and a smile, as her voice shifted to a tone of utmost honesty.

"Thanks again for talking to me, Onii-chan. But going back to what I was saying earlier, not as your little sister, and not even as a girl, but as a friend of Iroha-senpai…"

She paused, unsure of the words that would be the most effective in conveying her message. Eventually, she began haphazardly.

"She's a lot more delicate than she seems. Especially when you're involved, so…"

As she spoke, she twisted and turned in her seat, trying almost desperately to figure out how to tell me what it was that I needed to know. Finally, her eyes lit up as she struck upon what she needed to say. She met me head on, her eyes crashing into my own.

"Whatever happens between the two of you, it almost sounds like a cruel thing to say, but whatever you do, please don't doubt her sincerity."

Her words weren't what I was expecting, and for an instant they registered simply as a blank. But when the meaning to those words began to translate, I caught her intent.

"It's been a long time coming for her."

As I slouched over at the dining table, hovering over the food that I had chosen to eat cold, she removed her eyes from mine and stared blankly at nothing in particular. She looked on for just a moment, letting her words completely consume the room, before replacing that sentiment with a new one.

"And a long time coming back, at that."

I didn't shift my gaze to see what it was that had caught her line of sight. Instead, I closed my eyes with confidence that I had understood, and thus I affirmed.

"Gotcha."

When my eyes reopened, I was met with her gaze yet again. But before that, I noticed a wry grin plastered on her face, happy that all had finally been said and done.

"Good. Then I guess that's that."

She yawned with great relief and turned her body on its side. From where I was sitting, it looked like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she was getting ready to nap as a result. As she stretched and realigned her body to accommodate her new posture, she let out a dry laugh, before commenting offhandedly.

"Seriously, the only person I can think of that had it as bad as her, is-"

A noise started up around the same time she began her sentence. Noticing this, she cut herself off as soon as she picked up what it was and where it was coming from.

"Hmm? Hey Onii-chan, I think your phone's going off."

Damn phone. First you give me a call from Hayama of all people, then you cut off my sibling bonding time. That's strike two.

I sighed and got up from the table. I made my way back to my room while reminding myself that I probably needed to answer despite any other thought I had on the matter.

After all, what if Totsuka was calling me?

I rushed to my room and picked my phone up off of the nightstand by my bed, which was where I had left it after getting off the phone with Hayama and going to sleep last night.

A quick glance at who it was instantly crushed all of my hopes and dreams, but I still felt compelled to answer for a variety of reasons. I swiped to accept the call without any idea of what it could be about.

"Hello?"

"Ah, Hikki! Sorry to call you so suddenly, especially since I barely just saw you yesterday…"

It was one of the few numbers that I had in my contact book, which may have been reason enough to answer for most people. In my case, everything that happened literally just yesterday was still fresh in my head and I was still pretty embarrassed, so if it was any of my past incarnations there's no way I would've picked up.

The me of the present, however, was aware of the fact that Yuigahama is a pretty shy person, especially considering how outgoing she is. She was an anomaly that could openly state if and when she was embarrassed, and by just saying as such she could instantly ease the tension of any situation. Still, that didn't change the fact that she was likely just as embarrassed about yesterday as I was, so for her to call me directly so soon, it must've been something…of relative importance, given Yuigahama's standards.

"Sorry, and I didn't even text you like I said I would yesterday either since…w-well, anyways! There's something really important going on, and I just couldn't wait to tell you! Or maybe, it'd be worse if I let it drag on without telling you…or..."

Sometimes, I actually have no idea what the heck Yuigahama is talking about. She must've realized that herself, since soon after getting sidetracking, she found it prudent to get to the point.

"W-Whatever! Um... Are you free today?"

"Uh, define 'today'."

Give a guy a break, would you? I haven't even finished eating breakfast, never mind the fact that I just had a heart-to-heart conversation with my little sister about a subject no man should ever even have to discuss.

"Huh? De…fine?"

"No, uh…I guess it depends?"

Woman, you know what define means. In this case, it probably wasn't the most accurate way of putting it since it wasn't what I meant literally, but it's kind of a hard thing to say. So just once, do me a favor and pick up what I'm throwing down.

"Eh? Aren't you either free or not free?"

I can't be mad since my response was, irrefutably, pretty damn worthless and non-committal. I chose to remain silent in hopes that it would still manage to somehow speak for itself.

"R-Right. Well, um, would you be alright with meeting me for dinner? You know, if you can…"

To my surprise, it ended up working as she stated her business properly and I could then evaluate what I wanted to do in turn.

It's hard to say outright that if it was too much of a hassle, I wouldn't do it. Not being able to say those kinds of things were exactly why I didn't believe I needed something like friends.

But right now, rather than not being being able to say it, it felt more like I didn't want to. What's this? Have I been chained down already? Hachiman of the past...you were wise beyond your years, and I have failed you.

I was being very tongue in cheek, but for some reason I felt like I could finally finish the thought I'd been having since I got home.

What happened to me, I'd asked myself. I used to be able to turn any one down at the drop of a hat. Like a reflex. Second nature. I wouldn't feel bad about it either.

It was only now that this lifestyle change was expanding into other facets of my life that I finally understood what it was I was trying to touch on earlier.

At the university, the only one I'd have to worry about in regards to this was Shiromeguri-senpai. In fact, I swear to you turning her down might as well be against the law, so that couldn't be done. It was exhausting at times, but surprisingly fulfilling and enjoyable. In a word, it was comfy. God bless my braided senpai.

Without her here at home, it's felt foreign to me as it had used to, but when I thought about it a little bit more and considered my own emotions on the subject, I realized.

"I guess that'd be alright."

It came out delayed, but in my mind I thought it to be better late than never. Patiently waiting on the other end, Yuigahama exhaled and let out a voice filled with sincere happiness to the point that I was sure I could visualize her smile.

"Great! I'll text you the details later, but be ready to be there by 6, okay? Don't be late! Anywho gotta go, see you then!"

I pulled the phone away from my ear, and waited for her to end the call as I stared at my phone. I took note of the fact that even after all this time, I never once thought to delete Yuigahama from my contacts. I felt a smile coming, when a voice from behind me snapped me out of it.

"Wooow, Onii-chan. Having affairs already?"

At some point during my conversation with Yuigahama, Komachi seemed to have made her way into my room. Hey, I know we just had that talk and everything, but eavesdropping is still eavesdropping, y'know? Wouldn't I get scolded if I did the same thing?

I guess that's just the nature of having siblings, or whatever. Probably not, but in any case it wasn't something worth making a fuss over.

"I-Idiot, who's having an affair? Not like I could be having one in the first place. Last I checked, you need a significant other for that, which..."

Embarrassed about the compromising situation she caught me in, I unintentionally gave her the reaction she was fishing for. Oh well, I guess I can live with that. After all, the purity of Hikigaya Hachiman is something that must insist upon itself for all it may concern.

Otherwise, who knows what would happen.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Still, Yui-senpai is a lot bolder than I remember her being. Though when I put it that way, it makes it sound like I haven't spoken to her in a while, when…err…"

This little snake, for all that she had to say earlier, in reality she just couldn't help herself to start with. I turned my dead eyes onto her knowing that it would be more than enough to communicate what I was thinking.

"W-What? It was with completely innocent motives, I'll have you know. I said it earlier, didn't I? I have some things to say as a friend to them, and other things to say as a sister to you. They don't always have to be related, though it is true that I'm kind of a middle-woman by nature."

'They don't always have to be related', eh. Isn't that literally you telling me that they are, in fact, related? You just said it yourself.

But putting that aside for now, I don't remember ever indicating who I was talking to.

"So, how did you…?"

"Know it was Yui-senpai? I didn't, I just guessed. I may be awful at guessing correctly on tests, but this is a subject I have years of experience in!"

Unbeknownst to me, she had made herself comfortable in my room and had moved from being behind me to sprawling out on my bed. Don't mess up my covers, damn it. I haven't finished eating so I'm not even going to be in here long. Also, stop trying to nap on every piece of furniture in this house.

I scolded her mentally, but naturally Komachi couldn't hear any of it. She was on her back, staring up at my ceiling with a content smile on her face.

"I'm just really glad that Onii-chan isn't handling things halfway this time around."

Her relieved expression and looseness was like something out of a portrait, but the moment was short lived as she soon shot up to sitting Indian-style, only to begin spewing what amounted to nonsense.

"If it's like that though, it might make it a bit harder for me to remain neutral and stuff. And that's harder than it looks, y'know? I mean, I'm much closer to Iroha-senpai at this point, but even back then there was something about Yui-senpai that made me feel like I just had to root for her. And don't even get me started on Yukino-senpai-"

At some point I stopped being able to hear whatever it was that Komachi was rambling on about. I remember the days where it was just points this and Onii-chan that, but now it's as if she's put even more thought into my personal life than I have. A part of me isn't convinced that it's only her usual snoopy-ness either. Why's someone as outgoing as her more concerned about what's going on with my life rather than her own, anyways?

I rubbed the back of my head and let out a big sigh. For now, maybe it'd all be a lot simpler if I just took everything one step at a time. I put my phone in my pocket and made my way back to my previously abandoned meal. Along the way, Komachi made sure to give me an earful about who knows what. I put my mind at ease and instead wondered about what I'd do after I finished eating.

But before that one last thought had occurred to me. To take everything one step at a time inherently meant what I had been telling myself this whole time.

In every moment I'd ever lived and every instance I'd overthought, what was before me could simply be described as the present. I'd spent so much time being satisfied with inaction, that present should've turned to past, and it could all just be written off as a bittersweet chapter in a youth that could've been.

Yet the present never ends, and a chapter couldn't be completed without turning the page. I vaguely remember being told once that there were things that I could only do in the present. If that was the case, what were those things I'd missed out on, if it feels like everything had been waiting for me all along?

In this life the conviction to take action only held meaning when actually applied. Without that conviction, one could never move forward. But without applying that conviction, it was time that would never move forward instead. It sounded all wrong, so whatever this chapter would end up becoming, it's only fitting that it'd be about me.

It's been a long time coming, but what I've been seeking all this time finally felt so close, I could almost taste it.

I was turning the corner, I was getting over the hump.

Whatever was waiting for me on the other side must've been waiting for quite some time. As for what it was, I still couldn't be sure if it was genuine or not. But since it's me we're talking about, if I had to guess what it'd taste like when I got there…

I bet it'd taste just like cold food.

4-3

I thought long and hard for all of five minutes about what I'd do until dinnertime, and as expected, I just ended up reading and playing games for several hours.

When my days end up like this, it makes me wonder what it'd be like if I were to actually become a full-fledged house husband somehow.

Would I be able to indulge myself in these hobbies endlessly as I peacefully age, until finally I could ride out the twilight of my life into the sunset?

Without a doubt, a moment's hesitation, or any way you want to say me not even needing to think about it, the answer is hell yeah I could.

Having so much on my mind and having to deal with university almost made me forget how much I enjoy being a good-for-nothing house dweller. Whew, that was close. Never change, Hachiman. Never change.

Of course, that'd all be after I cleaned the house, and brought home groceries, and watered the cat, and whatever the heck else you needed to do to be a legitimate at-home spouse. Both my parents work, so I actually don't know.

When I put it that way though, I guess I really wouldn't have as much time to enjoy myself as I thought I did. But for what it's worth, it probably still beats being a corporate slave.

Like this, I continued to weigh my career and life choices aimlessly until the time came for me to make my appearance.

I took my time getting ready, and after a handful of goofy grins and jab comments from Komachi about how much of a gigolo I was, I was able to head out without any issues.

Nothing of interest happened on the way there, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the address that Yuigahama had sent me by text.

I looked up at the storefront and around where I was standing to take in the surroundings of where my feet had taken me. In front of me was a restaurant that by no means could be described as being fancy, but was still a decidedly tasteful choice. It was a bit more than I was expecting from Yuigahama, but she's surprised me more than once with her sense for these kinds of things.

I mean if it was me, we'd have just met up for some ramen, probably run into Hiratsuka-sensei somehow, and from there I'd just start feeling really awkward.

Yup, sounds about right.

You know just yesterday I was out getting something to eat with Yuigahama and everything turned out alright, so maybe it was a good thing I wasn't the one making those decisions around here.

With that in mind, I checked my phone to confirm a message I had received from her on the way here about how she'd arrived early to get a table for us, and went inside to see if I could find her.

"Hikki! Over here!"

About as soon as I had walked in, she had already spotted me due to the close proximity of her table to the storefront. Oh my, how very considerate of her.

Not just because it didn't take much looking on my part to find her, either. If she were to address me like that and shout from the other side of the restaurant to get my attention…err, it's not so much that people would get the wrong idea and it'd bug me or anything. I'd just feel really self-conscious about it for no particular reason.

I made my way over to the booth where she was sitting, and took my seat across from her. She looked at me with a strange mixture of excitement and uncertainty. Likewise, I wasn't sure what to feel either.

"Oh um, sorry I called you so suddenly like that."

She began nervously as she looked me up and down. I know you can count how many times you've seen me on one hand in the last couple of years, but I promise I haven't changed anything worth straining your eyes over. Keep it up and I'll return the favor.

Like, it was already taking every ounce of my willpower to maintain eye contact as it is, so the last thing I needed was justification.

Back then there was only one thing about Yuigahama that was womanly, everything else about her was very much that of a girl. But now…

Actually, you know what, it may be more accurate to say that there were two things.

"It's no problem. I was expecting to hear from you soon anyways."

I tried to keep it casual and concise. The sooner I could get her started on why she called me out here to start with, the sooner this tension could ease. And it'd also give me something else to focus on, so there was also that.

"A-ahaha…"

She scratched at her face with her finger as she finally ceased studying my every feature.

"…What's so funny?"

Don't study me like that and then end up having that kind of reaction. It'll give me PTSD.

"You make it sound like this is, like, a business meeting or something."

When she pointed it out, I realized that my choice of words did make it sound like that. On top of that, I've been pretty stiff since I got here due to her staring me down, so given what happened yesterday I'm probably making this even weirder by being uptight.

"A-ah, I guess it would feel kind of weird meeting up so casually like this after so long, especially with...well y-yeah."

She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly as a light red tint made its way to her face. Judging by how she decided to cut herself off, it seems like she hasn't forgotten anything about back then, but it was still too hard to say after all.

I wonder what age you have to reach before you could freely talk about the things that were too hard to say in your youth. Are we talking Hiratsuka-sensei old, or…?

All jokes aside, I really hope that's not what she wanted to talk about, because I didn't come here today ready to do that, and with how distracted I am right now this could get pretty dangerous.

Needless to say it wasn't a topic that was safe to stay on, but I was the one who got called here in the first place, and there wasn't anything else for me to say.

"No kidding. How do you think I feel?"

It was more of a rhetoric question, or maybe it was actually a question I was posing to myself. If nothing else, perhaps it was just a half-assed attempt at glossing over something I didn't want to talk about without completely ignoring it.

Really though, how do you think I feel? For someone who's so good at reading the mood and easing the atmosphere of a conversation, you sure do one heck of a job at managing to fluster me. By being flustered yourself, no less.

What kind of teenage garbage is that?! Please, somebody, send help. Shiromeguri-senpai, things aren't going as planned. Quick, help me find my comfy place.

"Hmm…yeah…"

While I was busy regretting everything about my life, Yuigahama seemed to be taking my question quite seriously as she scrunched her face together in thought.

"...I guess that is the all-important question here, huh..."

I felt my heart skip a beat at her words. One thing I had been guilty about in the past, was that I had a tendency to underestimate Yuigahama in a lot of ways. She must have her own thoughts on how the past couple of years have transpired, and that was something that I'd certainly been neglecting up until now. There wasn't anything I could do about her desires, her expectations, or whatever else it was that was remaining for her.

Like her, all I could do was wait.

After a small silence, she shot her head up and resumed with a smile as if nothing had happened.

"Anyways, I'm just really glad that Hikki actually came."

The happiness on her face, and the relief I could feel from her that we were able to meet like this again. I couldn't find any other way to describe it. It was as close to genuine as anything I had seen in a while. There was nothing to disprove, she really did just have me convinced.

She made it look so simple, and for that I felt awful. Because the longer this went on, the more I began to feel that I'd been dragging her down with me.

For her to be able to make that face even now, no, especially now…

"Hey, Hikki, are you okay? You seem kinda tense."

The smile faded from her face, and when she took the time to study my face again, she saw the reason for why I had been silent.

I didn't know for myself what I must've looked like in those moments. But whatever expression I was making, it must've been one of great sadness.

"I-It's nothing. I'm fine."

She'd called me here because she had something to say. Now more than ever, I felt like I owed it to her to listen properly. It was something I'd never been able to do, but the more time went on, the more important I thought it was for me to try.

Regardless of my intentions, she didn't seem to buy it. She furrowed her brow dejectedly and bit lightly at the underside of her lips.

" E-eh...it's as I thought, right? It really is kinda weird after all..."

I wasn't able to read her as well I'd liked, but it became apparent to me now that she was really hung up on that idea.

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. For this to be weird was probably pretty disheartening for her due to the type of person she was. And letting this go on would only serve to make me feel worse, also.

Thus in an attempt to reassure her, I thought to give her my honest impression on the matter.

"Maybe, I don't know. If you think about it, there are so many variables between two people that haven't met for a long time, that I doubt there's any one particular way that it's supposed to be like. That, on top of the fact that if weird could literally be considered to be unusual by definition, then yeah. It's just weird by nature."

Yuigahama tilted her head in confusion and gave me a bewildered look. It might just be me, but I swear I can literally see the word 'gross' forming on the edges of her mouth. Ugh, look it totally makes sense if you think about it. Out of left field, maybe, but you should still be able to see my point.

"It's also like, you know. Theoretically by continuing to meet up it would cease to be unusual, therefore also no longer being weird."

It's a bit of a dumbed down way to look at it, but basically if you keep looking at it that way, things will never change. And while it's true that once something was lost it could never return to its original form, that doesn't mean it has to stay in the same form as when it was broken either.

It took a lot of time and a lot of reflecting, but that was the conclusion that I'd been able to come to thanks to the last couple of days.

"C-Continuing to meet up?!"

Really, that's the part you understand? I'm out here with some profound sentiments, and you're playing me like this? I was just trying to get you to feel comfortable. Stop making me sound like I'm some nerd trying to talk my way into a second date.

Hold on, date…?

Alright, things are starting to get out of hand here. Let's go ahead and take a step back.

As I found myself on the fast track to questioning the meaning of life, I was abruptly interrupted by a familiar voice flowing its way to my ears like a cool winter breeze.

"I see your explanations are still gross enough to somehow border on being sexual harassment."

I looked to my side and in the distance I could where the restrooms were. When I turned my attention slightly more in the direction of where the voice had come from, there before me was an approaching figure shrouded by long, silky black hair. The figure captivated me briefly, until finally my eyes made their way to the most recognizable piercing blue eyes I'd ever seen in my life. Her lips parted, and on her smooth, slightly more matured face was an appearance I hadn't met in what was certainly a very long time.

"Hello. It's been a while, Hikigaya-kun."

 **A/N: Longest chapter so far, but it's been grossly overdue. I won't bore any of you with the how or the why it took as long as it did, just know that if the time ever comes that I stop intending on updating this fic, I will let you all know. As of now, I have every intention of continuing...I mean it's only Chapter 4, after all.**

 **Speaking of the story, Yukinoshita seems to have finally made her appearance. And well, I'll be straight with you. I'm pretty sure a solid 50% of Oregairu readers come for the story, and stay for the Yukino. If you're in that assumed demographic, then your time is coming soon.**

 **And by that, I mean next chapter. As for when that will be coming, I don't like the idea of updating several months at a time. I'd MUCH rather update once a month if I can. In fact, I feel like I'm behind if anything. We're getting to the meat of the story though, so progress should be faster since it's the part I have the most plans for. Next update should by no means take as long as this one did, and if I have it my way, we'll return to our regularly scheduled programming of one per month.**

 **Real quick, I also want to give a closing thought about Yukinoshita in this story. I've read a lot of fics that take the route of integrating Yukino and her relationship with her family into their story, and a lot of them tend to have a similar template for that. This fic will do some things similarly since a lot of it is based off of what most people believe Watari-sensei is alluding to in the novels. But naturally, it will also do a couple of things differently. Friendly reminder that no one besides Hikigaya is tagged in this story, and so this "plot point" if that's what you want to call it will not overshadow the main story in any way. But it IS Oregairu, so of course Yukino will be a very important character. She just won't be the only one.**

 **Thanks for reading. Hopefully you'll all be able to do a lot more reading in the immediate future, and I'll be able to do a lot more writing...and updating…**

 **-Lyzen**


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